1 00:00:00,439 --> 00:00:02,531 Hi everybody. So my name is Mac. 2 00:00:02,531 --> 00:00:06,589 My job is that I lie to children, 3 00:00:06,589 --> 00:00:08,605 but they're honest lies. 4 00:00:08,605 --> 00:00:10,373 I write children's books, 5 00:00:10,373 --> 00:00:13,601 and there's a quote from Pablo Picasso, 6 00:00:13,601 --> 00:00:16,787 "We all know that Art is not truth. 7 00:00:16,787 --> 00:00:20,429 Art is a lie that makes us realize truth 8 00:00:20,429 --> 00:00:23,127 or at least the truth that is given us to understand. 9 00:00:23,127 --> 00:00:25,237 The artist must know the manner whereby 10 00:00:25,237 --> 00:00:30,074 to convince others of the truthfulness of his lies." 11 00:00:30,074 --> 00:00:32,932 I first heard this when I was a kid, 12 00:00:32,932 --> 00:00:34,623 and I loved it, 13 00:00:34,623 --> 00:00:37,415 but I had no idea what it meant. 14 00:00:37,415 --> 00:00:38,992 (Laughter) 15 00:00:38,992 --> 00:00:40,889 So I thought, you know what, it's what I'm here 16 00:00:40,889 --> 00:00:42,508 to talk to you today about, though, 17 00:00:42,508 --> 00:00:44,721 truth and lies, fiction and reality. 18 00:00:44,721 --> 00:00:46,573 So how could I untangle 19 00:00:46,573 --> 00:00:49,100 this knotted bunch of sentences? 20 00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:52,527 And I said, I've got PowerPoint. Let's do a Venn diagram. 21 00:00:52,527 --> 00:00:55,020 ["Truth. Lies."] (Laughter) 22 00:00:55,020 --> 00:00:56,780 So there it is, right there, boom. 23 00:00:56,780 --> 00:00:58,485 We've got truth and lies 24 00:00:58,485 --> 00:00:59,557 and then there's this little space, 25 00:00:59,557 --> 00:01:01,118 the edge, in the middle. 26 00:01:01,118 --> 00:01:07,918 That liminal space, that's art. 27 00:01:07,918 --> 00:01:12,915 All right. Venn diagram. (Laughter) (Applause) 28 00:01:12,915 --> 00:01:15,941 But that's actually not very helpful either. 29 00:01:15,941 --> 00:01:20,316 The thing that made me understand 30 00:01:20,316 --> 00:01:22,806 that quote and really kind of what art, 31 00:01:22,806 --> 00:01:25,023 at least the art of fiction, was, 32 00:01:25,023 --> 00:01:26,463 was working with kids. 33 00:01:26,463 --> 00:01:28,723 I used to be a summer camp counselor. 34 00:01:28,723 --> 00:01:31,010 I would do it on my summers off from college, 35 00:01:31,010 --> 00:01:34,389 and I loved it. 36 00:01:34,389 --> 00:01:36,148 It was a sports summer camp 37 00:01:36,148 --> 00:01:37,982 for four- to six-year-olds. 38 00:01:37,982 --> 00:01:39,628 I was in charge of the four-year-olds, 39 00:01:39,628 --> 00:01:41,431 which is good, because 40 00:01:41,431 --> 00:01:44,780 four-year-olds can't play sports, and neither can I. 41 00:01:44,780 --> 00:01:46,355 (Laughter) 42 00:01:46,355 --> 00:01:49,280 I play sports at a four-year-old level, 43 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:52,997 so what would happen is the kids would 44 00:01:52,997 --> 00:01:54,696 dribble around some cones, and then got hot, 45 00:01:54,696 --> 00:01:56,959 and then they would go sit underneath the tree 46 00:01:56,959 --> 00:01:59,804 where I was already sitting — (Laughter) — 47 00:01:59,804 --> 00:02:02,349 and I would just make up stories and tell them to them 48 00:02:02,349 --> 00:02:04,168 and I would tell them stories about my life. 49 00:02:04,168 --> 00:02:05,911 I would tell them about how, on the weekends, 50 00:02:05,911 --> 00:02:09,126 I would go home and I would spy for the Queen of England. 51 00:02:09,126 --> 00:02:12,447 And soon, other kids 52 00:02:12,447 --> 00:02:14,287 who weren't even in my group of kids, 53 00:02:14,287 --> 00:02:15,756 they would come up to me, and they would say, 54 00:02:15,756 --> 00:02:17,668 "You're Mac Barnett, right? 55 00:02:17,668 --> 00:02:20,737 You're the guy who spies for the Queen of England." 56 00:02:20,737 --> 00:02:23,959 And I had been waiting my whole life for strangers 57 00:02:23,959 --> 00:02:26,389 to come up and ask me that question. 58 00:02:26,389 --> 00:02:28,662 In my fantasy, they were svelte Russian women, 59 00:02:28,662 --> 00:02:29,899 but, you know, four-year-olds — 60 00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:34,528 you take what you can get in Berkeley, California. 61 00:02:34,528 --> 00:02:38,956 And I realized that the stories that I was telling 62 00:02:38,956 --> 00:02:42,453 were real in this way that was familiar to me 63 00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:43,658 and really exciting. 64 00:02:43,658 --> 00:02:45,864 I think the pinnacle of this for me — I'll never forget this — 65 00:02:45,864 --> 00:02:48,687 there was this little girl named Riley. She was tiny, 66 00:02:48,687 --> 00:02:51,126 and she used to always take out her lunch every day 67 00:02:51,126 --> 00:02:53,466 and she would throw out her fruit. 68 00:02:53,466 --> 00:02:54,874 She would just take her fruit, 69 00:02:54,874 --> 00:02:56,222 her mom packed her a melon every day, 70 00:02:56,222 --> 00:02:57,971 and she would just throw it in the ivy 71 00:02:57,971 --> 00:03:00,284 and then she would eat fruit snacks 72 00:03:00,284 --> 00:03:02,657 and pudding cups, and I was like, "Riley, 73 00:03:02,657 --> 00:03:05,713 you can't do that, you have to eat the fruit." 74 00:03:05,713 --> 00:03:07,530 And she was like, "Why?" 75 00:03:07,530 --> 00:03:09,362 And I was like, "Well, when you throw the fruit in the ivy, 76 00:03:09,362 --> 00:03:13,254 pretty soon, it's going to be overgrown with melons," 77 00:03:13,254 --> 00:03:15,256 which is why I think I ended up 78 00:03:15,256 --> 00:03:20,875 telling stories to children and not being a nutritionist for children. 79 00:03:20,875 --> 00:03:22,763 And so Riley was like, "That will never happen. 80 00:03:22,763 --> 00:03:23,863 That's not going to happen." 81 00:03:23,863 --> 00:03:26,914 And so, on the last day of camp, 82 00:03:26,914 --> 00:03:29,367 I got up early and I got a big cantaloupe 83 00:03:29,367 --> 00:03:31,393 from the grocery store 84 00:03:31,393 --> 00:03:33,495 and I hid it in the ivy, 85 00:03:33,495 --> 00:03:34,946 and then at lunchtime, I was like, 86 00:03:34,946 --> 00:03:37,621 "Riley, why don't you go over there and see what you've done." 87 00:03:37,621 --> 00:03:40,796 And — (Laughter) — 88 00:03:40,796 --> 00:03:43,474 she went trudging through the ivy, and then her eyes 89 00:03:43,474 --> 00:03:45,566 just got so wide, and she pointed out this melon 90 00:03:45,566 --> 00:03:47,680 that was bigger than her head, 91 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:50,650 and then all the kids ran over there and rushed around her, 92 00:03:50,650 --> 00:03:52,237 and one of the kids was like, "Hey, 93 00:03:52,237 --> 00:03:54,126 why is there a sticker on this?" 94 00:03:54,126 --> 00:03:57,350 (Laughter) 95 00:03:57,350 --> 00:03:59,819 And I was like, "That is also why I say 96 00:03:59,819 --> 00:04:02,811 do not throw your stickers in the ivy. 97 00:04:02,811 --> 00:04:08,283 Put them in the trash can. It ruins nature when you do this." 98 00:04:08,283 --> 00:04:13,633 And Riley carried that melon around with her all day, 99 00:04:13,633 --> 00:04:15,661 and she was so proud. 100 00:04:15,661 --> 00:04:20,505 And Riley knew she didn't grow a melon in seven days, 101 00:04:20,505 --> 00:04:23,441 but she also knew that she did, 102 00:04:23,441 --> 00:04:25,657 and it's a weird place, 103 00:04:25,657 --> 00:04:28,402 but it's not just a place that kids can get to. 104 00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:31,934 It's anything. Art can get us to that place. 105 00:04:31,934 --> 00:04:33,891 She was right in that place in the middle, 106 00:04:33,891 --> 00:04:37,316 that place which you could call art or fiction. 107 00:04:37,316 --> 00:04:39,381 I'm going to call it wonder. 108 00:04:39,381 --> 00:04:42,010 It's what Coleridge called the willing suspension of disbelief 109 00:04:42,010 --> 00:04:43,690 or poetic faith, 110 00:04:43,690 --> 00:04:46,100 for those moments where a story, no matter how strange, 111 00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:48,140 has some semblance of the truth, 112 00:04:48,140 --> 00:04:50,117 and then you're able to believe it. 113 00:04:50,117 --> 00:04:51,747 It's not just kids who can get there. 114 00:04:51,747 --> 00:04:54,436 Adults can too, and we get there when we read. 115 00:04:54,436 --> 00:04:56,686 It's why in two days, people will be 116 00:04:56,686 --> 00:05:00,220 descending on Dublin to take the walking tour 117 00:05:00,220 --> 00:05:05,825 of Bloomsday and see everything that happened in "Ulysses," 118 00:05:05,825 --> 00:05:08,080 even though none of that happened. 119 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:10,337 Or people go to London and they visit Baker Street 120 00:05:10,337 --> 00:05:11,809 to see Sherlock Holmes' apartment, 121 00:05:11,809 --> 00:05:13,936 even though 221B is just a number that was painted 122 00:05:13,936 --> 00:05:17,082 on a building that never actually had that address. 123 00:05:17,082 --> 00:05:18,807 We know these characters aren't real, 124 00:05:18,807 --> 00:05:21,427 but we have real feelings about them, 125 00:05:21,427 --> 00:05:22,471 and we're able to do that. 126 00:05:22,471 --> 00:05:24,364 We know these characters aren't real, 127 00:05:24,364 --> 00:05:27,682 and yet we also know that they are. 128 00:05:27,682 --> 00:05:31,338 Kids can get there a lot more easily than adults can, 129 00:05:31,338 --> 00:05:32,891 and that's why I love writing for kids. 130 00:05:32,891 --> 00:05:34,871 I think kids are the best audience 131 00:05:34,871 --> 00:05:39,260 for serious literary fiction. 132 00:05:39,260 --> 00:05:42,084 When I was a kid, 133 00:05:42,084 --> 00:05:44,710 I was obsessed with secret door novels, 134 00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:45,871 things like "Narnia," 135 00:05:45,871 --> 00:05:49,574 where you would open a wardrobe and go through to a magical land. 136 00:05:49,574 --> 00:05:52,304 And I was convinced that secret doors really did exist 137 00:05:52,304 --> 00:05:54,332 and I would look for them and try to go through them. 138 00:05:54,332 --> 00:05:58,076 I wanted to live and cross over into that fictional world, which is — 139 00:05:58,076 --> 00:06:03,771 I would always just open people's closet doors. (Laughter) 140 00:06:03,771 --> 00:06:06,548 I would just go through my mom's boyfriend's closet, 141 00:06:06,548 --> 00:06:08,798 and there was not a secret magical land there. 142 00:06:08,798 --> 00:06:11,386 There was some other weird stuff that I think my mom should know about. 143 00:06:11,386 --> 00:06:13,107 (Laughter) 144 00:06:13,107 --> 00:06:17,272 And I was happy to tell her all about it. 145 00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:23,683 After college, my first job was working 146 00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:26,231 behind one of these secret doors. 147 00:06:26,231 --> 00:06:28,188 This is a place called 826 Valencia. 148 00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:30,280 It's at 826 Valencia Street 149 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:32,766 in the Mission in San Francisco, 150 00:06:32,766 --> 00:06:34,792 and when I worked there, there was a publishing company 151 00:06:34,792 --> 00:06:37,431 headquartered there called McSweeney's, 152 00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:40,585 a nonprofit writing center called 826 Valencia, 153 00:06:40,585 --> 00:06:42,790 but then the front of it 154 00:06:42,790 --> 00:06:44,360 was a strange shop. 155 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,787 You see, this place was zoned retail, 156 00:06:45,787 --> 00:06:48,903 and in San Francisco, they were not going to give us a variance, 157 00:06:48,903 --> 00:06:51,790 and so the writer who founded it, a writer named Dave Eggers, 158 00:06:51,790 --> 00:06:54,129 to come into compliance with code, he said, "Fine, 159 00:06:54,129 --> 00:06:58,505 I'm just going to build a pirate supply store." 160 00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:01,583 And that's what he did. (Laughter) 161 00:07:01,583 --> 00:07:03,534 And it's beautiful. It's all wood. 162 00:07:03,534 --> 00:07:05,464 There's drawers you can pull out and get citrus 163 00:07:05,464 --> 00:07:08,483 so you don't get scurvy. 164 00:07:08,483 --> 00:07:10,631 They have eyepatches in lots of colors, 165 00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:13,331 because when it's springtime, pirates want to go wild. 166 00:07:13,331 --> 00:07:17,674 You don't know. Black is boring. Pastel. 167 00:07:17,674 --> 00:07:19,670 Or eyes, also in lots of colors, 168 00:07:19,670 --> 00:07:21,475 just glass eyes, depending on how you want 169 00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:25,187 to deal with that situation. 170 00:07:25,187 --> 00:07:28,312 And the store, strangely, 171 00:07:28,312 --> 00:07:32,324 people came to them and bought things, 172 00:07:32,324 --> 00:07:34,151 and they ended up paying the rent 173 00:07:34,151 --> 00:07:36,215 for our tutoring center, which was behind it, 174 00:07:36,215 --> 00:07:39,267 but to me, more important was the fact 175 00:07:39,267 --> 00:07:41,918 that I think the quality of work you do, 176 00:07:41,918 --> 00:07:44,404 kids would come and get instruction in writing, 177 00:07:44,404 --> 00:07:48,670 and when you have to walk this weird, liminal, fictional space like this to go do your writing, 178 00:07:48,670 --> 00:07:52,420 it's going to affect the kind of work that you make. 179 00:07:52,420 --> 00:07:54,607 It's a secret door that you can walk through. 180 00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:57,358 So I ran the 826 in Los Angeles, 181 00:07:57,358 --> 00:08:00,840 and it was my job to build the store down there. 182 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:04,400 So we have The Echo Park Time Travel Mart. 183 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:07,240 That's our motto: "Whenever you are, we're already then." 184 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:11,100 (Laughter) 185 00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:15,857 And it's on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles. 186 00:08:15,857 --> 00:08:17,967 Our friendly staff is ready to help you. 187 00:08:17,967 --> 00:08:20,110 They're from all eras, 188 00:08:20,110 --> 00:08:23,719 including just the 1980s, that guy on the end, 189 00:08:23,719 --> 00:08:25,916 he's from the very recent past. 190 00:08:25,916 --> 00:08:27,618 There's our Employees of the Month, 191 00:08:27,618 --> 00:08:30,604 including Genghis Khan, Charles Dickens. 192 00:08:30,604 --> 00:08:33,596 Some great people have come up through our ranks. 193 00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:35,947 This is our kind of pharmacy section. 194 00:08:35,947 --> 00:08:37,286 We have some patent medicines, 195 00:08:37,286 --> 00:08:39,637 Canopic jars for your organs, 196 00:08:39,637 --> 00:08:41,271 communist soap that says, 197 00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:45,722 "This is your soap for the year." (Laughter) 198 00:08:45,722 --> 00:08:47,938 Our slushy machine broke 199 00:08:47,938 --> 00:08:50,571 on the opening night and we didn't know what to do. 200 00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:52,810 Our architect was covered in red syrup. 201 00:08:52,810 --> 00:08:55,284 It looked like he had just murdered somebody, 202 00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:56,971 which it was not out of the question 203 00:08:56,971 --> 00:08:59,021 for this particular architect, 204 00:08:59,021 --> 00:09:00,607 and we didn't know what to do. 205 00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:01,639 It was going to be the highlight of our store. 206 00:09:01,639 --> 00:09:02,984 So we just put that sign on it that said, 207 00:09:02,984 --> 00:09:07,489 "Out of order. Come back yesterday." (Laughter) 208 00:09:07,489 --> 00:09:09,525 And that ended up being a better joke than slushies, 209 00:09:09,525 --> 00:09:13,621 so we just left it there forever. 210 00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:17,934 Mammoth Chunks. These things weigh, like, seven pounds each. 211 00:09:17,934 --> 00:09:20,134 Barbarian repellent. It's full of salad 212 00:09:20,134 --> 00:09:24,712 and potpourri — things that barbarians hate. 213 00:09:24,712 --> 00:09:26,670 Dead languages. 214 00:09:26,670 --> 00:09:29,370 (Laughter) 215 00:09:29,370 --> 00:09:32,450 Leeches, nature's tiny doctors. 216 00:09:32,450 --> 00:09:35,590 And Viking Odorant, which comes in lots of great scents: 217 00:09:35,590 --> 00:09:39,595 toenails, sweat and rotten vegetables, pyre ash. 218 00:09:39,595 --> 00:09:41,703 Because we believe that Axe Body Spray 219 00:09:41,703 --> 00:09:43,366 is something that you should only find on the battlefield, 220 00:09:43,366 --> 00:09:47,560 not under your arms. (Laughter) 221 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:49,544 And these are robot emotion chips, 222 00:09:49,544 --> 00:09:51,771 so robots can feel love or fear. 223 00:09:51,771 --> 00:09:53,481 Our biggest seller is Schadenfreude, 224 00:09:53,481 --> 00:09:54,782 which we did not expect. 225 00:09:54,782 --> 00:09:55,793 (Laughter) 226 00:09:55,793 --> 00:09:58,240 We did not think that was going to happen. 227 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:00,501 But there's a nonprofit behind it, 228 00:10:00,501 --> 00:10:02,481 and kids go through a door that says "Employees Only" 229 00:10:02,481 --> 00:10:03,696 and they end up in this space 230 00:10:03,696 --> 00:10:05,870 where they do homework and write stories 231 00:10:05,870 --> 00:10:08,330 and make films and this is a book release party 232 00:10:08,330 --> 00:10:09,814 where kids will read. 233 00:10:09,814 --> 00:10:11,716 There's a quarterly that's published 234 00:10:11,716 --> 00:10:13,145 with just writing that's done by the kids 235 00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:14,202 who come every day after school, 236 00:10:14,202 --> 00:10:15,730 and we have release parties 237 00:10:15,730 --> 00:10:18,677 and they eat cake and read for their parents 238 00:10:18,677 --> 00:10:21,529 and drink milk out of champagne glasses. 239 00:10:21,529 --> 00:10:24,777 And it's a very special space, 240 00:10:24,777 --> 00:10:27,996 because it's this weird space in the front. 241 00:10:27,996 --> 00:10:31,295 The joke isn't a joke. 242 00:10:31,295 --> 00:10:33,695 You can't find the seams on the fiction, 243 00:10:33,695 --> 00:10:36,603 and I love that. It's this little bit of fiction 244 00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:39,865 that's colonized the real world. 245 00:10:39,865 --> 00:10:43,922 I see it as kind of a book in three dimensions. 246 00:10:43,922 --> 00:10:46,162 There's a term called metafiction, 247 00:10:46,162 --> 00:10:50,245 and that's just stories about stories, 248 00:10:50,245 --> 00:10:51,820 and meta's having a moment now. 249 00:10:51,820 --> 00:10:53,845 Its last big moment was probably in the 1960s 250 00:10:53,845 --> 00:10:56,522 with novelists like John Barth and William Gaddis, 251 00:10:56,522 --> 00:10:57,770 but it's been around. 252 00:10:57,770 --> 00:11:01,311 It's almost as old as storytelling itself. 253 00:11:01,311 --> 00:11:03,851 And one metafictive technique 254 00:11:03,851 --> 00:11:05,645 is breaking the fourth wall. Right? 255 00:11:05,645 --> 00:11:08,895 It's when an actor will turn to the audience 256 00:11:08,895 --> 00:11:09,961 and say, "I am an actor, 257 00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,552 these are just rafters." 258 00:11:12,552 --> 00:11:14,577 And even that supposedly honest moment, 259 00:11:14,577 --> 00:11:16,803 I would argue, is in service of the lie, 260 00:11:16,803 --> 00:11:19,559 but it's supposed to foreground the artificiality 261 00:11:19,559 --> 00:11:21,246 of the fiction. 262 00:11:21,246 --> 00:11:23,395 For me, I kind of prefer the opposite. 263 00:11:23,395 --> 00:11:25,529 If I'm going to break down the fourth wall, 264 00:11:25,529 --> 00:11:27,872 I want fiction to escape 265 00:11:27,872 --> 00:11:29,955 and come into the real world. 266 00:11:29,955 --> 00:11:34,554 I want a book to be a secret door that opens 267 00:11:34,554 --> 00:11:37,446 and lets the stories out into reality. 268 00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:40,427 And so I try to do this in my books. 269 00:11:40,427 --> 00:11:41,970 And here's just one example. 270 00:11:41,970 --> 00:11:43,892 This is the first book that I ever made. 271 00:11:43,892 --> 00:11:46,513 It's called "Billy Twitters and his Blue Whale Problem." 272 00:11:46,513 --> 00:11:48,643 And it's about a kid who gets a blue whale as a pet 273 00:11:48,643 --> 00:11:50,229 but it's a punishment 274 00:11:50,229 --> 00:11:52,704 and it ruins his life. 275 00:11:52,704 --> 00:11:55,516 So it's delivered overnight by FedUp. 276 00:11:55,516 --> 00:11:58,106 (Laughter) 277 00:11:58,106 --> 00:12:00,100 And he has to take it to school with him. 278 00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:01,454 He lives in San Francisco — 279 00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,985 very tough city to own a blue whale in. 280 00:12:03,985 --> 00:12:08,419 A lot of hills, real estate is at a premium. 281 00:12:08,419 --> 00:12:10,927 This market's crazy, everybody. 282 00:12:10,927 --> 00:12:14,718 But underneath the jacket is this case, 283 00:12:14,718 --> 00:12:18,904 and that's the cover underneath the book, the jacket, 284 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:20,284 and there's an ad 285 00:12:20,284 --> 00:12:23,527 that offers a free 30-day risk-free trial 286 00:12:23,527 --> 00:12:25,426 for a blue whale. 287 00:12:25,426 --> 00:12:28,420 And you can just send in a self-addressed stamped envelope 288 00:12:28,420 --> 00:12:32,270 and we'll send you a whale. 289 00:12:32,270 --> 00:12:36,610 And kids do write in. 290 00:12:36,610 --> 00:12:40,018 So here's a letter. It says, "Dear people, 291 00:12:40,018 --> 00:12:43,199 I bet you 10 bucks you won't send me a blue whale. 292 00:12:43,199 --> 00:12:45,676 Eliot Gannon (age 6)." 293 00:12:45,676 --> 00:12:49,350 (Laughter) (Applause) 294 00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:52,960 So what Eliot and the other kids 295 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,451 who send these in get back 296 00:12:55,451 --> 00:12:58,376 is a letter in very small print from a Norwegian law firm — 297 00:12:58,376 --> 00:13:02,337 (Laughter) — 298 00:13:02,337 --> 00:13:05,698 that says that due to a change in customs laws, 299 00:13:05,698 --> 00:13:07,905 their whale has been held up in Sognefjord, 300 00:13:07,905 --> 00:13:09,129 which is a very lovely fjord, 301 00:13:09,129 --> 00:13:10,593 and then it just kind of talks about Sognefjord 302 00:13:10,593 --> 00:13:13,073 and Norwegian food for a little while. It digresses. 303 00:13:13,073 --> 00:13:14,855 (Laughter) 304 00:13:16,767 --> 00:13:18,680 But it finishes off by saying that 305 00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:21,414 your whale would love to hear from you. 306 00:13:21,414 --> 00:13:23,000 He's got a phone number, 307 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:27,714 and you can call and leave him a message. 308 00:13:27,714 --> 00:13:30,290 And when you call and leave him a message, 309 00:13:30,290 --> 00:13:32,281 you just, on the outgoing message, 310 00:13:32,281 --> 00:13:37,399 it's just whale sounds and then a beep, 311 00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:40,954 which actually sounds a lot like a whale sound. 312 00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,934 And they get a picture of their whale too. 313 00:13:42,934 --> 00:13:45,465 So this is Randolph, 314 00:13:45,465 --> 00:13:48,806 and Randolph belongs to a kid named Nico 315 00:13:48,806 --> 00:13:53,088 who was one of the first kids to ever call in, 316 00:13:53,088 --> 00:13:55,398 and I'll play you some of Nico's message. 317 00:13:55,398 --> 00:13:59,530 This is the first message I ever got from Nico. 318 00:13:59,530 --> 00:14:01,769 (Audio) Nico: Hello, this is Nico. 319 00:14:01,769 --> 00:14:05,803 I am your owner, Randolph. Hello. 320 00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:09,279 So this is the first time I can ever talk to you, 321 00:14:09,279 --> 00:14:15,523 and I might talk to you soon another day. Bye. 322 00:14:15,523 --> 00:14:18,110 Mac Barnett: So Nico called back, like, an hour later. 323 00:14:18,110 --> 00:14:20,360 (Laughter) 324 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:24,297 And here's another one of Nico's messages. 325 00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:27,840 (Audio) Nico: Hello, Randolph, this is Nico. 326 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:32,993 I haven't talked to you for a long time, 327 00:14:32,993 --> 00:14:37,688 but I talked to you on Saturday or Sunday, 328 00:14:37,688 --> 00:14:39,938 yeah, Saturday or Sunday, 329 00:14:39,938 --> 00:14:42,953 so now I'm calling you again 330 00:14:42,953 --> 00:14:47,869 to say hello and I wonder what you're doing right now, 331 00:14:47,869 --> 00:14:50,805 and I'm going to probably call you again 332 00:14:50,805 --> 00:14:52,988 tomorrow or today, 333 00:14:52,988 --> 00:14:57,184 so I'll talk to you later. Bye. 334 00:14:57,184 --> 00:15:01,492 MB: So he did, he called back that day again. 335 00:15:01,492 --> 00:15:05,373 He's left over 25 messages for Randolph 336 00:15:05,373 --> 00:15:08,125 over four years. 337 00:15:08,125 --> 00:15:10,216 You find out all about him 338 00:15:10,216 --> 00:15:11,852 and the grandma that he loves 339 00:15:11,852 --> 00:15:14,207 and the grandma that he likes a little bit less — 340 00:15:14,207 --> 00:15:16,400 (Laughter) — 341 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,827 and the crossword puzzles that he does, 342 00:15:18,827 --> 00:15:22,607 and this is — I'll play you one more message from Nico. 343 00:15:22,607 --> 00:15:25,910 This is the Christmas message from Nico. 344 00:15:25,910 --> 00:15:28,273 [Beep] (Audio) Nico: Hello, Randolph, 345 00:15:28,273 --> 00:15:31,528 sorry I haven't talked to you in a long time. 346 00:15:31,528 --> 00:15:34,194 It's just that I've been so busy 347 00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:36,893 because school started, 348 00:15:36,893 --> 00:15:39,926 as you might not know, probably, 349 00:15:39,926 --> 00:15:43,807 since you're a whale, you don't know, 350 00:15:43,807 --> 00:15:48,487 and I'm calling you to just say, 351 00:15:48,487 --> 00:15:52,177 to wish you a merry Christmas. 352 00:15:52,177 --> 00:15:56,778 So have a nice Christmas, 353 00:15:56,778 --> 00:16:03,651 and bye-bye, Randolph. Goodbye. 354 00:16:03,651 --> 00:16:05,175 MB: I actually got Nico, 355 00:16:05,175 --> 00:16:08,306 I hadn't heard from in 18 months, 356 00:16:08,306 --> 00:16:12,424 and he just left a message two days ago. 357 00:16:12,424 --> 00:16:14,850 His voice is completely different, 358 00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:18,350 but he put his babysitter on the phone, 359 00:16:18,350 --> 00:16:22,211 and she was very nice to Randolph as well. 360 00:16:22,211 --> 00:16:26,561 But Nico's the best reader I could hope for. 361 00:16:26,561 --> 00:16:30,287 I would want anyone I was writing for 362 00:16:30,287 --> 00:16:32,428 to be in that place emotionally 363 00:16:32,428 --> 00:16:34,664 with the things that I create. 364 00:16:34,664 --> 00:16:38,365 I feel lucky. Kids like Nico are the best readers, 365 00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:41,960 and they deserve the best stories we can give them. 366 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,162 Thank you very much. 367 00:16:44,162 --> 00:16:46,817 (Applause)