[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.00,0:00:03.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every year in the United States alone,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.47,0:00:09.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,2,077,000 couples make\Na legal and spiritual decision
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.99,0:00:13.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to spend the rest\Nof their lives together --
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.88,0:00:15.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.06,0:00:18.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And not to have sex with anyone else.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.50,0:00:20.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ever.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.14,0:00:23.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He buys a ring, she buys a dress.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.80,0:00:28.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They go shopping for all sorts of things.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.24,0:00:32.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She takes him to Arthur Murray\Nfor ballroom-dancing lessons.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.69,0:00:35.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the big day comes.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.24,0:00:38.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they'll stand before God and family
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.17,0:00:41.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and some guy her dad\Nonce did business with,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.13,0:00:43.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they'll vow that nothing --
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.74,0:00:46.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not abject poverty,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.04,0:00:48.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not life-threatening illness,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.19,0:00:51.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not complete and utter misery --
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.63,0:00:56.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,will ever put the tiniest damper\Non their eternal love and devotion.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.98,0:00:58.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.76,0:01:03.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These optimistic young bastards\Npromise to honor and cherish each other
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.06,0:01:06.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through hot flashes and midlife crises
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.89,0:01:10.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a cumulative 50-pound weight gain,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.36,0:01:17.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,until that far-off day, when one of them\Nis finally able to rest in peace.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.42,0:01:18.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.59,0:01:21.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, because they can't hear\Nthe snoring anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.53,0:01:23.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then they'll get stupid drunk
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.36,0:01:26.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and smash cake in each other's faces\Nand do the Macarena.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.48,0:01:28.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we'll be there,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.11,0:01:32.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,showering them with towels and toasters\Nand drinking their free booze
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.54,0:01:35.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and throwing birdseed at them\Nevery single time ...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.72,0:01:40.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even though we know, statistically,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.43,0:01:43.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,half of them will be divorced\Nwithin a decade.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.55,0:01:45.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.13,0:01:48.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Of course, the other half won't, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.83,0:01:51.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They'll keep forgetting anniversaries
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.83,0:01:54.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and arguing about where to spend holidays
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.34,0:01:55.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and debating --
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.53,0:01:56.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.62,0:02:00.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which way the toilet paper\Nshould come off of the roll.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.79,0:02:06.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And some of them will even still\Nbe enjoying each other's company
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.30,0:02:09.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when neither of them can chew\Nsolid food anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.75,0:02:12.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And researchers want to know why.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.67,0:02:16.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, look -- it doesn't take\Na double-blind, placebo-controlled study
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.20,0:02:19.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to figure out what makes\Na marriage not work:
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.16,0:02:21.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,disrespect, boredom,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.40,0:02:24.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,too much time on Facebook,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.15,0:02:26.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,having sex with other people.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.19,0:02:29.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But you can have the exact\Nopposite of all of those things --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.73,0:02:32.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,respect, excitement,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.50,0:02:34.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a broken Internet connection,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.69,0:02:37.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mind-numbing monogamy --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.55,0:02:41.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the thing still can go\Nto hell in a handbasket.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.72,0:02:44.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, what's going on when it doesn't?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.21,0:02:49.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What do the folks who make it all the way\Nto side-by-side burial plots
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.25,0:02:50.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have in common?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.84,0:02:52.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What are they doing right?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.58,0:02:54.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What can we learn from them?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.50,0:02:59.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you're still happily sleeping solo,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.28,0:03:03.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why should you stop what you're doing\Nand make it your life's work
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.72,0:03:06.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to find that one special person
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.44,0:03:08.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you can annoy\Nfor the rest of your life?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.57,0:03:12.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, researchers spend\Nbillions of your tax dollars
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.81,0:03:14.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,trying to figure that out.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.67,0:03:16.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They stalk blissful couples
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.66,0:03:19.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and study their every move and mannerism.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.89,0:03:23.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they try to pinpoint\Nwhat it is that sets them apart
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.70,0:03:25.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from their miserable\Nneighbors and friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.97,0:03:31.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it turns out, the success stories\Nshare a few similarities,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.80,0:03:34.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,beyond that they don't have sex\Nwith other people.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.93,0:03:37.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For instance, in the happiest marriages,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.98,0:03:39.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the wife is thinner and better-looking
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.84,0:03:41.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than the husband.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.03,0:03:42.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.14,0:03:44.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obvious. Right?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.38,0:03:46.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's obvious that this leads\Nto marital bliss,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.92,0:03:50.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because women -- we care a great deal\Nabout being thin and good-looking,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.60,0:03:52.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whereas men mostly care about sex,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.12,0:03:57.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ideally, with women who are thinner\Nand better looking than they are.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.24,0:03:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The beauty of this research, though,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.01,0:04:03.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that no one is suggesting\Nthat women have to be thin to be happy.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.29,0:04:06.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We just have to be thinner\Nthan our partners.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.72,0:04:11.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So instead of all that laborious\Ndieting and exercising,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.25,0:04:13.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we just need to wait\Nfor them to get fat --
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.48,0:04:14.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.77,0:04:16.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe bake a few pies.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.67,0:04:20.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is good information to have,\Nand it's not that complicated.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.05,0:04:21.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.10,0:04:23.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Research also suggests
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.24,0:04:28.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the happiest couples are the ones\Nthat focus on the positives.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.45,0:04:30.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example: the happy wife.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.04,0:04:32.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead of pointing out\Nher husband's growing gut
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.40,0:04:34.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or suggesting he go for a run,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.99,0:04:36.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she might say,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.36,0:04:39.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Wow, honey, thank you\Nfor going out of your way
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.67,0:04:41.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to make me relatively thinner."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.56,0:04:42.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.58,0:04:45.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These are couples\Nwho can find good in any situation.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.79,0:04:49.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yeah, it was devastating\Nwhen we lost everything in that fire.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.05,0:04:53.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's kind of nice sleeping\Nout here under the stars.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.87,0:04:57.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's a good thing you've got\Nall that body fat to keep us warm."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:57.10,0:04:58.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.32,0:05:00.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of my favorite studies found
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.24,0:05:03.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the more willing\Na husband is to do housework,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.40,0:05:05.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the more attractive\Nhis wife will find him.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.16,0:05:09.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because we needed a study to tell us this.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.42,0:05:10.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.72,0:05:12.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But here's what's going on here.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.28,0:05:15.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The more attractive she finds him,\Nthe more sex they have;
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.44,0:05:17.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the more sex they have,\Nthe nicer he is to her;
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.89,0:05:19.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the nicer he is to her,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.61,0:05:22.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the less she nags him\Nabout leaving wet towels on the bed,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.45,0:05:25.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and ultimately,\Nthey live happily ever after.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.55,0:05:28.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In other words, men,\Nyou might want to pick it up a notch
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.96,0:05:30.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the domestic department.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.60,0:05:32.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's an interesting one.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.36,0:05:38.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One study found that people\Nwho smile in childhood photographs
Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.45,0:05:40.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are less likely to get a divorce.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.58,0:05:44.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is an actual study,\Nand let me clarify:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.45,0:05:47.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the researchers were not looking\Nat documented self-reports
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.75,0:05:49.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of childhood happiness,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.06,0:05:51.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or even studying old journals.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.11,0:05:55.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The data were based entirely\Non whether people looked happy
Dialogue: 0,0:05:55.70,0:05:56.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in these early pictures.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.79,0:06:02.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I don't know how old all of you are,\Nbut when I was a kid,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.31,0:06:05.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your parents took pictures\Nwith a special kind of camera
Dialogue: 0,0:06:05.05,0:06:06.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that held something called "film."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.80,0:06:10.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And, by God, film was expensive.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:11.50,0:06:16.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They didn't take 300 shots of you\Nin that rapid-fire digital video mode
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.31,0:06:20.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then pick out the nicest,\Nsmiliest one for the Christmas card.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.93,0:06:22.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, no.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.13,0:06:25.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They dressed you up, they lined you up,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.03,0:06:27.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you smiled for the fucking camera\Nlike they told you to
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.85,0:06:30.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or you could kiss\Nyour birthday party goodbye.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.06,0:06:33.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But still, I have a huge pile\Nof fake happy childhood pictures
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.63,0:06:37.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm glad they make me less likely\Nthan some people to get a divorce.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.36,0:06:41.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, what else can you do\Nto safeguard your marriage?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.52,0:06:45.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do not win an Oscar for best actress.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.79,0:06:47.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.64,0:06:48.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm serious.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.85,0:06:51.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bettie Davis, Joan Crawford,\NHalle Berry, Hilary Swank,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.92,0:06:54.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sandra Bullock, Reese Witherspoon --
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.13,0:06:57.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all of them single,\Nsoon after taking home that statue.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.68,0:07:00.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They actually call it the Oscar curse.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.08,0:07:03.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is the marriage kiss of death\Nand something that should be avoided.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.72,0:07:08.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's not just successfully\Nstarring in films that's dangerous.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.76,0:07:12.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It turns out, merely watching\Na romantic comedy
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.70,0:07:15.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,causes relationship\Nsatisfaction to plummet.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.84,0:07:17.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:17.31,0:07:23.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Apparently, the bitter realization\Nthat maybe it could happen to us,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.20,0:07:25.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it obviously hasn't\Nand it probably never will,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.84,0:07:29.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,makes our lives seem\Nunbearably grim in comparison.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.82,0:07:31.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And theoretically,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:31.26,0:07:34.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I suppose if we opt for a film\Nwhere someone gets brutally murdered
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.55,0:07:36.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or dies in a fiery car crash,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.97,0:07:39.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we are more likely to walk out\Nof that theater
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.14,0:07:41.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feeling like we've got it pretty good.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.10,0:07:42.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.17,0:07:47.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Drinking alcohol, it seems,\Nis bad for your marriage.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:48.44,0:07:49.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.36,0:07:52.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't tell you anymore about that one
Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.25,0:07:54.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I stopped reading it\Nat the headline.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.39,0:07:57.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But here's a scary one:\Ndivorce is contagious.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.67,0:08:01.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's right, when you have\Na close couple friend split up,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.51,0:08:06.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it increases your chances\Nof getting a divorce by 75 percent.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:07.02,0:08:09.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I have to say,\NI don't get this one at all.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.21,0:08:14.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My husband and I have watched\Nquite a few friends divide their assets
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.90,0:08:19.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then struggle\Nwith being our age and single
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.54,0:08:23.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in an age of sexting\Nand Viagra and eHarmony.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.36,0:08:26.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm thinking they've done\Nmore for my marriage
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.78,0:08:28.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than a lifetime of therapy ever could.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.79,0:08:34.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So now you may be wondering:\NWhy does anyone get married ever?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:35.48,0:08:40.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, the US federal government\Ncounts more than a thousand legal benefits
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.65,0:08:42.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to being someone's spouse.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.50,0:08:45.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A list that includes\Nvisitation rights in jail,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:45.21,0:08:47.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but hopefully, you'll never need that one.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.61,0:08:50.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But beyond the profound federal perks,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.86,0:08:53.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,married people make more money.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.27,0:08:57.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're healthier,\Nphysically and emotionally.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.40,0:09:02.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We produce happier, more stable\Nand more successful kids.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:03.91,0:09:08.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have more sex than our supposedly\Nswinging single friends,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.04,0:09:09.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,believe it or not.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.78,0:09:10.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We even live longer,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.00,0:09:16.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is a pretty compelling argument\Nfor marrying someone you like a lot
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.18,0:09:17.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the first place.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:17.43,0:09:18.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:09:18.46,0:09:24.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, if you're not currently experiencing\Nthe joy of the joint tax return,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:24.46,0:09:27.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't tell you how to find\Na chore-loving person
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.98,0:09:30.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the approximately ideal size\Nand attractiveness,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:30.41,0:09:31.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who prefers horror movies
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.71,0:09:34.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and doesn't have a lot of friends\Nhovering on the brink of divorce,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:34.90,0:09:36.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I can only encourage you to try,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.00,0:09:39.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because the benefits, as I've pointed out,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:39.87,0:09:41.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are significant.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:41.93,0:09:45.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The bottom line is: whether you're in it\Nor you're searching for it,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:45.20,0:09:49.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I believe marriage is an institution\Nworth pursuing and protecting.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.45,0:09:53.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I hope you'll use the information\NI've given you today
Dialogue: 0,0:09:53.16,0:09:56.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to weigh your personal strengths\Nagainst your own risk factors.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:56.70,0:10:00.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For instance, in my marriage,\NI'd say I'm doing OK.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.33,0:10:02.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One the one hand,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:02.75,0:10:06.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have a husband who's annoyingly lean\Nand incredibly handsome.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:07.22,0:10:09.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I'm obviously going\Nto need fatten him up.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:10.12,0:10:12.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And like I said, we have\Nthose divorced friends
Dialogue: 0,0:10:12.87,0:10:16.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who may secretly or subconsciously\Nbe trying to break us up.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.73,0:10:18.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So we have to keep an eye on that.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:20.20,0:10:22.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we do like a cocktail or two.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:22.85,0:10:24.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On the other hand,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:24.26,0:10:26.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have the fake happy picture thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:26.53,0:10:30.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And also, my husband does\Na lot around the house,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.17,0:10:33.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and would happily never see\Nanother romantic comedy
Dialogue: 0,0:10:33.79,0:10:35.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as long as he lives.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.06,0:10:37.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I've got all those things going for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:37.66,0:10:38.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But just in case,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.90,0:10:44.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I plan to work extra hard\Nto not win an Oscar anytime soon.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:44.64,0:10:46.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And for the good of your relationships,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.73,0:10:48.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would encourage you to do the same.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:49.61,0:10:50.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll see you at the bar.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:50.90,0:10:52.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:52.10,0:10:54.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)