1
00:00:02,418 --> 00:00:08,833
[Audience chattering.]

2
00:00:08,833 --> 00:00:10,074
Good afternoon!

3
00:00:10,074 --> 00:00:12,387
I am Reinaldo Garcia.

4
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:14,048
And you are the audience.

5
00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:17,473
[Laughter, applause.]

6
00:00:17,473 --> 00:00:20,075
Okay! Um, 
turn off all cell phones, please.

7
00:00:20,075 --> 00:00:22,017
And, we're in a residential
neighborhood,

8
00:00:22,017 --> 00:00:25,177
so, no drag racing down the streets
of quiet Carmel, when we leave.

9
00:00:25,177 --> 00:00:27,369
The show is about an hour and 
10 minutes long.

10
00:00:27,369 --> 00:00:30,398
There is some harsh language
in the piece, okay?

11
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:32,882
I'll be taking confessionals
in my booth over here,

12
00:00:32,882 --> 00:00:34,176
after the plays are over,


13
00:00:34,176 --> 00:00:35,171
[Audience chuckles]

14
00:00:35,171 --> 00:00:37,450
if anybody wants
to unburden their hearts, okay?

15
00:00:37,450 --> 00:00:39,132
So, welcome to "Dream Butchers."

16
00:00:39,132 --> 00:00:48,422
[Applause.]

17
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:11,479
[Acoustic guitars]

18
00:01:11,479 --> 00:01:15,491
[Sings] You crawled across dry thorns

19
00:01:15,491 --> 00:01:20,385
and chewed cut glass.

20
00:01:20,385 --> 00:01:25,619
Please come through my door,
lay down on the grass.

21
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:28,113
[Guitar phrase]

22
00:01:28,113 --> 00:01:37,504
I don't care where you've been,
in the dark side of town.

23
00:01:37,504 --> 00:01:43,761
Your history might be shameful.

24
00:01:43,761 --> 00:01:51,585
I will always let you in,
I will never let you down.

25
00:01:51,585 --> 00:01:55,217
[Guitar chords]

26
00:01:55,217 --> 00:02:00,113
I'm entertaining angels.

27
00:02:00,113 --> 00:02:06,576
[Acoustic guitars]

28
00:02:06,576 --> 00:02:14,867
Now you're down on your luck,
your spirit's broke.

29
00:02:14,867 --> 00:02:22,657
I see your beggar's cup
filled with busted hope.

30
00:02:22,657 --> 00:02:31,461
Let this new day begin,
before the sun goes down.

31
00:02:31,461 --> 00:02:37,361
I'll know I served an angel.

32
00:02:37,361 --> 00:02:48,689
I will always let you in,
I will never let you down.

33
00:02:48,689 --> 00:02:53,200
I'm entertaining angels.

34
00:02:53,200 --> 00:03:00,592
[Guitar flourish.]

35
00:03:00,592 --> 00:03:08,261
Hello, stranger. Drop your things.
Come on in.

36
00:03:08,261 --> 00:03:20,912
There's no danger.
I see the wings beneath your skin.

37
00:03:20,912 --> 00:03:29,057
I am no holy man.
Just a human

38
00:03:29,057 --> 00:03:37,025
who must obey the plan
for a communion.

39
00:03:37,025 --> 00:03:45,380
It's a mortal sin
if I would renounce a man

40
00:03:45,380 --> 00:03:50,144
whose life is painful.

41
00:03:50,144 --> 00:04:01,648
I will always let you in,
I will never let you down.

42
00:04:01,648 --> 00:04:06,769
Because I'm entertaining you angels.

43
00:04:06,769 --> 00:04:11,380
[Guitar flourish.]

44
00:04:11,380 --> 00:04:15,176
[End chord holds.]

45
00:04:15,176 --> 00:04:20,945
[Applause.]

46
00:04:20,945 --> 00:04:24,784
[Spoken] I played baseball
in 2 different baseball leagues around town.

47
00:04:24,784 --> 00:04:27,650
And I also umpire, uh, baseball.

48
00:04:27,650 --> 00:04:29,649
And our opening piece,
"Low and Inside,"

49
00:04:29,649 --> 00:04:31,408
is about a local man

50
00:04:31,408 --> 00:04:35,010
uh, whose career,
whose professional career was destroyed.

51
00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:37,104
But there is a romance to baseball.

52
00:04:37,104 --> 00:04:40,258
And I wrote this song up in the 
San Jose Giants stadium.

53
00:04:40,258 --> 00:04:42,598
Uh, I recommend going to 
Minor League baseball.

54
00:04:42,598 --> 00:04:44,416
You get right up next to the players.

55
00:04:44,416 --> 00:04:46,271
They are the future stars of the game.

56
00:04:46,271 --> 00:04:47,768
It's really exhilarating to me.

57
00:04:47,768 --> 00:04:50,448
So, I wrote this song,
as the players were warming up.

58
00:04:50,448 --> 00:04:52,304
It's called 
"The Church of Baseball."

59
00:04:52,304 --> 00:04:57,763
[Cheerful acoustic guitars]

60
00:04:57,763 --> 00:05:03,313
The ground crew rakes the infield,
they line the batter's box with lime.

61
00:05:03,313 --> 00:05:06,603
[Guitars]

62
00:05:06,603 --> 00:05:14,784
Then they spray the baselines,
dust is down 'til players take the field.

63
00:05:14,784 --> 00:05:21,457
The church of baseball.
Warm in summer air.

64
00:05:21,457 --> 00:05:29,266
The church of baseball.
It's all prepared.

65
00:05:29,266 --> 00:05:35,222
Now the players stretch and run.
Boys of summer filled with dreams.

66
00:05:35,222 --> 00:05:38,022
[Guitars]

67
00:05:38,022 --> 00:05:44,192
The fan girls scream when
the local boy warms up in the sun.

68
00:05:44,192 --> 00:05:46,052
[Guitars strum]

69
00:05:46,052 --> 00:05:53,024
The church of baseball.
Blesses all the minor leagues.

70
00:05:53,024 --> 00:05:58,282
The church of baseball.
It'll last for centuries.

71
00:05:58,282 --> 00:06:00,992
[Guitars]

72
00:06:00,992 --> 00:06:06,767
Local talent sings the anthem.
Out of tune loudspeakers squeal.

73
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:09,247
[Guitars]

74
00:06:09,247 --> 00:06:15,303
Now the home team takes the field.
Bonus babies, tall and handsome.

75
00:06:15,303 --> 00:06:17,653
[Guitars]

76
00:06:17,653 --> 00:06:24,224
The church of baseball.
It's a sacred space.

77
00:06:24,224 --> 00:06:30,946
The church of baseball.
Steal a base.

78
00:06:30,946 --> 00:06:37,280
For Willie, and Maury,
Even Ricky Henderson too.

79
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:43,322
The church of baseball,
It welcomes you.

80
00:06:43,322 --> 00:06:49,514
[Guitar flourish.]

81
00:06:50,384 --> 00:06:56,589
"Low and Inside."
[Applause.]

82
00:06:57,479 --> 00:06:58,542
[Announcer] I get it.

83
00:06:58,542 --> 00:07:01,664
Baseball is a historical game.
I like to compare different things,

84
00:07:01,664 --> 00:07:03,147
compare different eras.

85
00:07:03,147 --> 00:07:05,682
But how in the world, John Ruck,
can you compare a guy

86
00:07:05,682 --> 00:07:08,960
getting all these hits in Japan,
and then add it up with the Majors,

87
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,940
and then say he truly hit
came from a paper on point. You can't.

88
00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:15,569
The people should know.
What Pete Rose has done is incredible.

89
00:07:15,574 --> 00:07:21,094
[Announcer commentary]

90
00:07:21,094 --> 00:07:25,330
To say he has passed Pete Rose,
as all time hit leader, we can't do that.

91
00:07:25,330 --> 00:07:36,128
[Announcer voices continue.]

92
00:07:36,128 --> 00:07:42,670
Hey Neal.
[Drunkenly mumbles.]

93
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:49,080
[Sports announcers continue]

94
00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:52,768
Uh. Hm. Uh. 
[Laughs.]

95
00:07:52,768 --> 00:07:55,638
[Sports announcers]

96
00:07:55,638 --> 00:07:59,218
Gimme a 7 & 7.
And go easy on the 7-Up.

97
00:07:59,218 --> 00:08:01,028
[Announcers continue]

98
00:08:01,028 --> 00:08:04,250
Would you turn down the --
turn the TV off?

99
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:05,690
[Announcers continue]

100
00:08:05,690 --> 00:08:10,752
I gotta give a reason?
I been comin' here for 5, 6 years?

101
00:08:10,752 --> 00:08:14,912
Because! I don't wanna
see, hear, or read about baseball.

102
00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:16,602
Whatever the [bleep] is happening!

103
00:08:16,602 --> 00:08:18,112
[Announcers stop]
[No audio]

104
00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:48,321
And another, por favor.

105
00:08:48,321 --> 00:08:52,335
No tab tonight.

106
00:08:52,335 --> 00:08:55,271
I'm leavin' no debts.

107
00:08:56,181 --> 00:09:00,336
You remember Jason?
Big, body builder type?

108
00:09:00,336 --> 00:09:03,226
Yeah! With the rash down his neck.

109
00:09:06,306 --> 00:09:12,505
You know any hit men?
Ahh, just kidding.

110
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:21,744
I think. You remember Roosevelt?
Black guy, with a face like a badger?

111
00:09:21,744 --> 00:09:24,932
He went over big time.

112
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:33,396
R - R - Rosie?
Neal. You live upstairs.

113
00:09:33,396 --> 00:09:38,032
There's nobody here.
Can I stay a while?

114
00:09:38,032 --> 00:09:39,885
Gracias, mi amigo.


115
00:09:48,465 --> 00:09:51,101
Ahhh. [Exhales.]

116
00:09:51,951 --> 00:09:55,634
You know me.
I'm a friendly guy, right?

117
00:09:55,634 --> 00:09:58,907
So does professional baseball.

118
00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:12,112
It was in Marietta, Georgia.
Pre-season sessions.

119
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:17,809
Director of officials tells me
I've been elevated to crew chief.

120
00:10:17,809 --> 00:10:21,615
Working beside of me,
two guys with me.

121
00:10:21,615 --> 00:10:25,552
Jason Olivetti, and 
Roosevelt Truman.

122
00:10:25,552 --> 00:10:29,519
"Jason Olivetti!" I said.
"Oh no. No, no."

123
00:10:29,519 --> 00:10:32,272
"I heard he's a piece of work."

124
00:10:32,272 --> 00:10:35,200
"Rico!" he says.
"You're the kind of

125
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:39,472
natural-born leader
who can get along with anybody."

126
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,698
"Mentor the kid."

127
00:10:41,698 --> 00:10:45,425
Them's my marching orders.

128
00:10:45,425 --> 00:10:51,601
Two years away from the
Majors, a lifelong dream. Hmm.

129
00:10:51,601 --> 00:10:58,465
Through Berman, Chatanooga, Jackson,
Pensacola, Knoxville, Montgomery.

130
00:10:58,465 --> 00:11:05,088
Mobile, Cogsville. Athletes!
Dripping testosterone and doubt.

131
00:11:05,088 --> 00:11:11,824
Adonises driven by a dream.
And, there I am. Deep within it.

132
00:11:11,824 --> 00:11:17,743
Benevolent, dispensing justice.
Witnessing brilliance.

133
00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:23,135
John Smokes. Matt Holliday.
Juan Fiera. Ah! Ahh.

134
00:11:23,135 --> 00:11:26,050
A cavalcade of future stars.
Passing through my station

135
00:11:26,050 --> 00:11:29,472
on their way to immortality.

136
00:11:31,912 --> 00:11:36,247
The baseball field is a timeless Eden.

137
00:11:40,127 --> 00:11:46,000
And, into my crew chief's ear
slithered Jason Olivetti.

138
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:49,103
Dwelling in a body stocking of a rash.

139
00:11:49,103 --> 00:11:53,249
You know it even discolored his weiner?

140
00:11:53,249 --> 00:11:56,209
Yes! I looked. 
Ahhhh.

141
00:11:58,319 --> 00:12:01,913
Don't be naive, Neal.
Everybody looks.

142
00:12:04,793 --> 00:12:10,685
Ahhh. Ehhhh. [Laughs.]

143
00:12:21,735 --> 00:12:24,128
Ahh. [Exhales.]

144
00:12:26,948 --> 00:12:32,498
You know....
I...I...I....

145
00:12:33,328 --> 00:12:39,265
Taking charge of a ball field
was always second nature for me.

146
00:12:39,265 --> 00:12:45,766
I was a catcher in college.
Field General. I ran the pitchers.

147
00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:48,420
Directed the fielders. Worked the umps.

148
00:12:48,420 --> 00:12:54,499
And when I wasn't drafted,
I went to umpire school.

149
00:12:54,499 --> 00:12:57,430
Vero Beach, Florida.
Dodger Town. Heh-heh.

150
00:12:57,430 --> 00:13:02,800
Ahh. Sailed right through.
Through rookies. Single ed.

151
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:07,686
By my 3rd year, I was already crew chief.
Two guys under me.

152
00:13:07,686 --> 00:13:15,247
In a van supplied by the Majors.
First class hotels all through the South.

153
00:13:15,247 --> 00:13:18,475
Ha-ha! The future World Series ump!

154
00:13:21,345 --> 00:13:27,025
Tell me...tell me.
How does a guy who gets along

155
00:13:27,025 --> 00:13:30,591
with everybody, grow to hate a man?

156
00:13:30,591 --> 00:13:34,793
Who the mere sight of
provokes nausea and vomiting? Eh?

157
00:13:38,593 --> 00:13:45,446
Jason was a -- a strapping farm boy
who was seduced by big city ambition.

158
00:13:46,396 --> 00:13:52,950
Prostitutes. Marijuana. Hm?
Ah! I'll show you what I mean.

159
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,872
We checked into a hotel.

160
00:13:55,872 --> 00:14:00,383
During dinner, Jason is flirting
with the waitress.

161
00:14:00,383 --> 00:14:03,857
Flirting. Ha. How's about this.

162
00:14:03,857 --> 00:14:10,671
[Hick accent] "That was one fine meal!
Mmm- mmm - mmm!

163
00:14:10,671 --> 00:14:13,823
But it lacked some spice.


164
00:14:13,823 --> 00:14:18,693
Why don't you come up to my room later,
and let me taste your pussy?"

165
00:14:18,693 --> 00:14:20,369
[Audience groans.]

166
00:14:20,369 --> 00:14:23,301
[His own voice again]
Then, he was down at the front desk.

167
00:14:23,301 --> 00:14:27,359
Proclaiming, bitching that his towels
were not white enough.

168
00:14:27,359 --> 00:14:33,087
He would weiner-wag the maid,
when he came out of the shower.

169
00:14:33,087 --> 00:14:36,879
Couple of times, he came back to his room
to find it ransacked.

170
00:14:36,879 --> 00:14:40,463
Well deserved, I'd say.

171
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:45,695
Hm? Oh, on the diamond?
Okay.

172
00:14:45,695 --> 00:14:49,345
Jason's behind the ditch, right?
Guy hits a home run.

173
00:14:49,345 --> 00:14:53,888
As he's circling the bases,
Jason picks up the bat,

174
00:14:53,888 --> 00:14:58,351
and leans on it, like Mister Peanut
leaning on his cane.

175
00:14:58,351 --> 00:15:03,087
Right on home plate! Hmm?!
Ahh.

176
00:15:03,087 --> 00:15:05,999
No, he never smoked it in the van.

177
00:15:05,999 --> 00:15:09,475
Well, just the idea of driving through
the South, with my protege,

178
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:12,768
holding grass -- terrified me!

179
00:15:13,728 --> 00:15:17,632
No. Nooo, no. I could never report him.

180
00:15:17,632 --> 00:15:21,327
You have no idea what it would do
to my reputation.

181
00:15:23,347 --> 00:15:26,943
[Laughs] And his taste in music.

182
00:15:26,943 --> 00:15:29,727
We had -- we had a rule.

183
00:15:29,727 --> 00:15:34,255
The guy behind the wheel
chooses the tunes. Hmm?

184
00:15:34,255 --> 00:15:38,255
Jason wouldn't be out --
we wouldn't be out of the parking lot,

185
00:15:38,255 --> 00:15:40,911
the hotel parking lot,
not 5 minutes.

186
00:15:40,911 --> 00:15:46,095
Jason slides in his
"Greatest Hits of the '70s" CD.

187
00:15:46,095 --> 00:15:49,249
"Afternoon Delight."
"Summer Breeze."

188
00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:51,295
Da-da-da-da

189
00:15:51,295 --> 00:15:54,127
"Blowin' through the jasmine
of our minds."

190
00:15:54,127 --> 00:15:56,015
"One Toke Over the Line."

191
00:15:56,015 --> 00:15:58,574
From Mobile to Jackson!

192
00:16:00,294 --> 00:16:04,318
Jason is the reason I drink
these 7 & 7s.

193
00:16:04,318 --> 00:16:07,807
His official beverage of choice.

194
00:16:07,807 --> 00:16:12,162
I, I enjoyed them, to --
establish rapport.

195
00:16:13,502 --> 00:16:16,335
Roosevelt, too.
Drank in the back seat.

196
00:16:16,335 --> 00:16:18,607
Tapping away at his [bleep]ing 
iPhone.

197
00:16:18,607 --> 00:16:21,956
Watching porn.
Aiming the camera at the front seat.

198
00:16:21,956 --> 00:16:26,047
Making what he calls his
'POV dramalogue.'

199
00:16:28,127 --> 00:16:29,448
Ahhh.

200
00:16:30,478 --> 00:16:33,998
Okay. So. So! So.

201
00:16:33,998 --> 00:16:36,435
We are in 'bama now.

202
00:16:36,435 --> 00:16:41,747
The Barons pitted against 
their arch-rivals, Huntsville Stars.

203
00:16:41,747 --> 00:16:45,903
Battling for the title.
Two games left.

204
00:16:45,903 --> 00:16:49,542
Two games,
and Jason is out of my life!

205
00:16:51,792 --> 00:16:55,375
Yeah. 
The Barons, and the Stars.

206
00:16:55,375 --> 00:16:58,303
Huge rivals. Mutual hate.

207
00:16:58,303 --> 00:16:59,743
So.

208
00:16:59,743 --> 00:17:04,415
It all comes down to two outs,
bottom of the 9th, bases loaded.

209
00:17:04,415 --> 00:17:06,389
Barons down 3.

210
00:17:08,249 --> 00:17:14,207
22 year old defector Cuban.
22 year old Cuba defector Oscar Morales

211
00:17:14,207 --> 00:17:16,894
is a 5'2" phenom.

212
00:17:16,894 --> 00:17:21,119
Already, he has tripled, and stolen home.

213
00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:25,043
Now, he slides to the plate,
with a hit on the line.

214
00:17:26,143 --> 00:17:29,104
Huntsville pitcher launches a fast ball.

215
00:17:29,104 --> 00:17:31,010
Inside and low.

216
00:17:31,010 --> 00:17:32,734
Ball one.

217
00:17:32,734 --> 00:17:36,895
The catcher --
the wisecracking, Polack misfit

218
00:17:36,895 --> 00:17:41,120
Anje Prozinski,
asks for a clean one.

219
00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:43,807
"Gimme a ball you can see."

220
00:17:43,807 --> 00:17:46,718
Hm? Of course! I tossed him!

221
00:17:46,718 --> 00:17:50,671
The guy turns on me.
Huntsville keeper leaps out of the dugout,

222
00:17:50,671 --> 00:17:55,055
restraining Prozinski with one hand,
and screaming for an explanation.

223
00:17:55,055 --> 00:17:56,990
"I dunno what the guy said."

224
00:17:56,990 --> 00:18:01,647
"You're not allowed to argue
balls and strikes. You know that."

225
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:05,937
The manager looks at this catcher.
Says, "you say that?"

226
00:18:05,937 --> 00:18:12,751
"Yeah. Hey. If Blue here grew an eye,
he'd be a Cyclops."

227
00:18:12,751 --> 00:18:17,631
Huntsville manager nearly breaks his ribs,
he's laughing so hard.

228
00:18:17,631 --> 00:18:21,326
The fans are going ape-shit.
The pitcher comes in to the ditch.

229
00:18:21,326 --> 00:18:28,551
Jason and Roosevelt run up
to restore order. Hmm. Ugghhh.

230
00:18:32,731 --> 00:18:36,447
I'm coming to it. Gimme a sec.
Wait a minute.

231
00:18:36,447 --> 00:18:39,198
And then, the pitcher says,

232
00:18:39,198 --> 00:18:45,279
"Hey, Blue. We know you're blind.
We've seen your wife."

233
00:18:45,279 --> 00:18:48,271
Just a minute here. 
I'm coming to that.

234
00:18:48,271 --> 00:18:50,591
Okay. Now, back to the game.

235
00:18:50,591 --> 00:18:57,554
Okay. So. The pitcher, the new pitcher
delivers a rising fast ball.

236
00:18:57,554 --> 00:19:02,432
Morales fouls it back, knocks off my mask.
I go down to my knees.

237
00:19:02,432 --> 00:19:05,040
Someone in the Stars dugout yells,

238
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:11,137
"Hey, Blue! Get up off your knees!
You're BLOWING the game!"

239
00:19:11,967 --> 00:19:19,342
I wobble over to the Huntsville dugout.
I give 'em the 'stink eye.'

240
00:19:19,342 --> 00:19:21,854
That settles them down.

241
00:19:21,854 --> 00:19:28,047
Next pitch, Morales slams
way down the right field line.

242
00:19:28,047 --> 00:19:31,390
Fouled by inches.
Counts one and two.

243
00:19:31,390 --> 00:19:33,487
Next pitch a slider, outside.


244
00:19:33,487 --> 00:19:38,078
But Morales, already, you know,
what we call a professional hitter,

245
00:19:38,078 --> 00:19:42,206
fouls off the next five pitches
before taking a ball

246
00:19:42,206 --> 00:19:45,262
millimeters over the plate.

247
00:19:45,262 --> 00:19:47,390
The new catcher goes,
"Hey Blue!"

248
00:19:47,390 --> 00:19:50,356
I go, "Ah-ah!
One peep out of you,

249
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:53,617
you shower with your friend."

250
00:19:53,617 --> 00:19:55,439
Guy goes, "Peep!"

251
00:19:57,149 --> 00:19:59,502
I swallow it.

252
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:04,209
Morales fouls off
the next 3 pitches too.

253
00:20:05,419 --> 00:20:10,688
Eh? Good -- good hitter?
You better believe it.

254
00:20:10,688 --> 00:20:12,224
OK. So, now...

255
00:20:12,224 --> 00:20:15,551
So now, the Huntsville pitcher
hangs a curve.

256
00:20:15,551 --> 00:20:16,881
Oh-ho-ho-ho!

257
00:20:16,881 --> 00:20:19,166
Morales drools.

258
00:20:19,166 --> 00:20:20,882
He spins on it!

259
00:20:20,882 --> 00:20:25,151
And launches the ball
high into the Alabama night.

260
00:20:25,151 --> 00:20:28,176
The crowd leaps as one,

261
00:20:28,176 --> 00:20:31,060
as the ball is
Pensacola-bound.

262
00:20:31,060 --> 00:20:33,564
Walk off Grand Slam!

263
00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:40,494
Barons win the title by a run.

264
00:20:40,494 --> 00:20:42,126
Hm-hm!

265
00:20:42,126 --> 00:20:44,641
Me and my crew,
we have to pass

266
00:20:44,641 --> 00:20:47,609
the Visitors' dugout
to exit the field.

267
00:20:47,609 --> 00:20:49,680
The losing pitcher
comes up behind me.

268
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,671
"Hey! Lucky you don't have
an ERA, Blue.

269
00:20:52,671 --> 00:20:55,694
Those runs are yours!"

270
00:20:57,984 --> 00:20:58,910
So.

271
00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:06,990
So we have a game
the next day.

272
00:21:06,990 --> 00:21:11,198
No time to shower.
We have to go to Jackson.

273
00:21:11,198 --> 00:21:15,391
We pile into the van,
Jason behind the wheel.

274
00:21:15,391 --> 00:21:18,789
[Sings] "Sky rockets in flight!
Afternoon -- "

275
00:21:20,099 --> 00:21:23,214
Jason starts to dig in.

276
00:21:23,214 --> 00:21:28,542
"Hey, Rico.
That 2 strike call on Morales.

277
00:21:28,542 --> 00:21:30,878
That was strike 3."

278
00:21:30,878 --> 00:21:32,558
"Jason," I said.

279
00:21:32,558 --> 00:21:36,830
"That ball was so far outside,
it had a hat and a coat on.

280
00:21:36,830 --> 00:21:38,862
Could you turn it down a bit?"

281
00:21:38,862 --> 00:21:41,966
I look in the back, 
at Roosevelt, for some support.

282
00:21:41,966 --> 00:21:45,630
Roosevelt is aiming
his iPhone at us.

283
00:21:45,630 --> 00:21:51,134
Another chapter in his
on the road documentary.

284
00:21:52,484 --> 00:21:55,040
Jason digs in deeper.

285
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:58,190
"Hey, Rico.
You -- You Latinos


286
00:21:58,190 --> 00:22:00,606
look out after each other,
don'tcha?

287
00:22:00,606 --> 00:22:04,063
What, did Morales
slip you some pesos?

288
00:22:04,063 --> 00:22:08,845
Huh? Huh? One gone call
tips the championship.

289
00:22:08,845 --> 00:22:12,558
I thought only horses
slept standing up."

290
00:22:12,558 --> 00:22:15,443
"Alright, Jason. That's enough."

291
00:22:17,073 --> 00:22:23,907
"You guys," Roosevelt says,
"been goin' at it for 4 solid months.

292
00:22:23,907 --> 00:22:29,602
Since opening day. Why don't you both
settle it like men?"

293
00:22:30,782 --> 00:22:34,096
"Just a minute, here. Just a minute."

294
00:22:34,096 --> 00:22:37,494
Hey -- gimme another 7 and 7, huh?

295
00:22:38,894 --> 00:22:40,176
Anyway --

296
00:22:40,176 --> 00:22:45,375
I'm trying every umpire's trick
to NOT listen.

297
00:22:45,375 --> 00:22:47,612
One more game left!

298
00:22:48,382 --> 00:22:52,846
And then I notice.
We're going in a circle.

299
00:22:52,846 --> 00:22:56,462
I say "Jason, you do have
the directions? Right?"

300
00:22:56,462 --> 00:23:01,124
And he says, Jason says,
"Uh, I ran out of rolling papers."

301
00:23:01,124 --> 00:23:04,223
"Uh, built me a doobie
out of the directions."

302
00:23:04,223 --> 00:23:06,430
"Up in smoke!"

303
00:23:06,430 --> 00:23:10,478
I said, "Jason, go straight
at the lights, turn right.

304
00:23:10,478 --> 00:23:15,873
That will lead you onto 
highway 20 on ramp to Atlanta."

305
00:23:16,533 --> 00:23:18,942
"Man who doesn't know his way
around a strike zone,

306
00:23:18,942 --> 00:23:20,782
giving me directions?"

307
00:23:20,782 --> 00:23:26,111
"Hmmm. Hey! Slip me some pesos,
and I'll consider it."

308
00:23:26,111 --> 00:23:29,023
"Hey Rico! Next time
you're behind the dish,

309
00:23:29,023 --> 00:23:32,838
bend over. 
Call the game with your good eye."

310
00:23:33,808 --> 00:23:37,695
Roosevelt is breaking up
in the back seat.

311
00:23:37,695 --> 00:23:44,351
"Four solid months. You two
should form a comedy team."

312
00:23:44,351 --> 00:23:48,958
"Ahh, getting caught in a 
wetback conspiracy, Roosevelt

313
00:23:48,958 --> 00:23:51,358
is no laughing matter."

314
00:23:51,358 --> 00:23:54,782
"Hey, maybe -- maybe Rico
would call a more accurate game,

315
00:23:54,782 --> 00:23:58,223
if home plate were shaped like
a tortilla."

316
00:23:59,633 --> 00:24:01,997
I'm staying cool.

317
00:24:01,997 --> 00:24:07,598
"Hey Rico! Yo Rico, I'm your daddy.
Hitchhiked to Salinas once,

318
00:24:07,598 --> 00:24:11,376
and [bleeped] your mother,
in a lettuce field."

319
00:24:11,376 --> 00:24:14,382
"OK. OK, Jason.
One more crack,

320
00:24:14,382 --> 00:24:16,766
I'll wreck your career."

321
00:24:16,766 --> 00:24:20,975
"Crack? Your mamacita's
tasted like guacamole."

322
00:24:20,975 --> 00:24:23,566
"Whoa, you gonna take that,
Rico?"

323
00:24:23,566 --> 00:24:26,191
"I just about had enough
of you, Rico.

324
00:24:26,191 --> 00:24:28,398
Let's settle this like men."

325
00:24:28,398 --> 00:24:31,229
Jasmine is blowing through
our minds.

326
00:24:31,229 --> 00:24:35,376
Jason pulls the van over,
under the streetlight.

327
00:24:35,376 --> 00:24:38,093
He rips open the driver's door.

328
00:24:38,093 --> 00:24:40,766
Races around
the back of the van.

329
00:24:40,766 --> 00:24:43,390
And I've got blood in my eyes.

330
00:24:43,390 --> 00:24:46,669
He yanks open the passenger door,

331
00:24:46,669 --> 00:24:51,726
and before he could remove his hand,
I clocked him, with a solid left to the jaw.

332
00:24:51,726 --> 00:24:54,429
Jason grabs my arm,
and the Oklahoma farm boy

333
00:24:54,429 --> 00:24:57,887
swings me out, 
under the street light.

334
00:24:57,887 --> 00:25:00,462
We are tussling like wildcats.

335
00:25:00,462 --> 00:25:03,326
The guy has got 100 pounds on me.

336
00:25:03,326 --> 00:25:07,200
Roosevelt is filming the whole thing
on his iPhone.

337
00:25:09,470 --> 00:25:11,934
Thirty seconds later...

338
00:25:11,934 --> 00:25:13,527
it's over.

339
00:25:14,127 --> 00:25:16,193
We get back in the van,

340
00:25:16,193 --> 00:25:19,597
and pull into Jacksonville,
just before dawn.

341
00:25:19,597 --> 00:25:22,942
Not a word spoken
the whole way.

342
00:25:24,462 --> 00:25:28,109
A week later,
our little altercation

343
00:25:28,109 --> 00:25:29,726
shows up on You Tube.

344
00:25:30,336 --> 00:25:32,899
"Posted anonymously."

345
00:25:33,869 --> 00:25:35,909
ESPN runs it.

346
00:25:36,959 --> 00:25:42,045
Jason and I are released.

347
00:25:42,045 --> 00:25:45,134
Fired.

348
00:25:45,134 --> 00:25:50,414
Roosevelt's on his way
to the Big Show.

349
00:25:50,414 --> 00:25:54,366
What am I gonna do here?

350
00:25:54,366 --> 00:25:56,797
What am I gonna do.

351
00:25:58,307 --> 00:26:10,323
[Applause.]

352
00:26:33,293 --> 00:26:40,561
[Peppy guitars.]

353
00:26:40,561 --> 00:26:43,646
[Sings] I did not rise up
from the mire

354
00:26:43,646 --> 00:26:46,637
to be cast into 
the lake of fire.

355
00:26:46,637 --> 00:26:49,551
I am proud to be
an outlaw.

356
00:26:49,551 --> 00:26:54,110
What I am 
is plain to God.

357
00:26:54,110 --> 00:26:57,149
Doesn't matter
what you sacrificed.

358
00:26:57,149 --> 00:27:01,245
We'll all appear before the
judgment seat of Christ.

359
00:27:01,245 --> 00:27:04,749
[Guitars]

360
00:27:04,749 --> 00:27:07,844
I did not rise up
from the mire

361
00:27:07,844 --> 00:27:10,944
to be cast into
the lake of fire.

362
00:27:10,944 --> 00:27:13,918
Live by faith,
not by sight.

363
00:27:13,918 --> 00:27:18,109
All that's mortal
swallowed up by life.

364
00:27:18,109 --> 00:27:21,437
So that each of us
will receive

365
00:27:21,437 --> 00:27:24,413
what is due us,
wheat or chaff.

366
00:27:24,413 --> 00:27:27,325
For all the things done
while in the body

367
00:27:27,325 --> 00:27:29,565
whether good or bad.

368
00:27:29,565 --> 00:27:32,030
[Guitars]

369
00:27:32,030 --> 00:27:34,893
The Kingdom soon will come.

370
00:27:34,893 --> 00:27:38,141
Exploding with the sun.

371
00:27:38,141 --> 00:27:41,213
All my loved ones
melding into one,

372
00:27:41,213 --> 00:27:43,359
'cause the kingdom
soon will come.

373
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:55,261
[Guitar scales duo]

374
00:27:55,261 --> 00:27:58,253
I did not rise up
from the mire

375
00:27:58,253 --> 00:28:01,214
to be cast into
the lake of fire.

376
00:28:01,214 --> 00:28:04,029
I will live forever more.

377
00:28:04,029 --> 00:28:06,589
On the Armageddon shore.

378
00:28:06,589 --> 00:28:09,197
[Guitars]

379
00:28:09,197 --> 00:28:11,853
Seven seals,
Seven trumpets.

380
00:28:11,853 --> 00:28:14,877
Seven vials,
Seven cursed digits.

381
00:28:14,877 --> 00:28:17,901
Seven dooms,
Seven new things.

382
00:28:17,901 --> 00:28:19,725
For the angels.

383
00:28:19,725 --> 00:28:22,365
[Guitars]

384
00:28:22,365 --> 00:28:25,438
I did not rise up
from the mire

385
00:28:25,438 --> 00:28:28,573
to be cast into
the lake of fire.

386
00:28:28,573 --> 00:28:31,567
I am proud to be
an outlaw.

387
00:28:31,567 --> 00:28:33,069
What I am...

388
00:28:33,069 --> 00:28:37,070
is plain...to...God.
[Guitar strum]

389
00:28:37,070 --> 00:28:42,710
[Applause]

390
00:28:52,270 --> 00:28:58,718
[Loud Howls]

391
00:28:58,718 --> 00:29:06,205
[Panicked breathing]
[Bell ringing]

392
00:29:06,205 --> 00:29:08,913
You really did it this time, Harriet.

393
00:29:08,913 --> 00:29:11,965
Just had to leave the fold,
didn't you?

394
00:29:11,965 --> 00:29:15,581
You had it all.
Plenty of green grass,

395
00:29:15,581 --> 00:29:17,773
a haircut every spring.

396
00:29:17,773 --> 00:29:20,229
Three swell dogs,
and the friendliest shepherd

397
00:29:20,229 --> 00:29:22,909
this side of Bo Peep.

398
00:29:22,909 --> 00:29:26,573
Real friendly.
Was old Harriet satisfied?

399
00:29:26,573 --> 00:29:29,069
Nooo. [Bleats]
[Audience laughs]

400
00:29:29,069 --> 00:29:33,117
Had to leave the herd!
Big tough gal, huh, Harriet?

401
00:29:33,117 --> 00:29:35,165
[Wolf howls]

402
00:29:35,165 --> 00:29:36,701
What am I gonna do?

403
00:29:36,701 --> 00:29:40,433
[Wolf howls]

404
00:29:40,433 --> 00:29:45,805
[Wolf laughs]
Alright, mutton head.

405
00:29:45,805 --> 00:29:53,071
Where ya be? [Sniffs around]
I knows you out here somewheres.

406
00:29:55,181 --> 00:30:01,422
Hoo! All this runnin' 'round
makes a fella dog-tired.

407
00:30:01,422 --> 00:30:06,494
Why don't I just lay these bones 
up against this here boulder,

408
00:30:06,494 --> 00:30:08,599
and catch my breath?

409
00:30:12,719 --> 00:30:18,749
[Wolf sighs] Heyyy.
That feels nice-like.

410
00:30:18,749 --> 00:30:21,676
Wonder where my dinner
ran off to?

411
00:30:21,676 --> 00:30:24,685
Probably cowering
behind one of these rocks.

412
00:30:24,685 --> 00:30:27,950
I'll catch her.
And when I do!

413
00:30:27,950 --> 00:30:30,877
Should I make it...
mutton stew?

414
00:30:30,877 --> 00:30:35,533
Or leg o' lamb,
or just eat her raw?

415
00:30:35,533 --> 00:30:40,079
Mutton! Ain't had no sheep
for the whole month!

416
00:30:40,079 --> 00:30:42,221
That's gonna be really nice.

417
00:30:42,221 --> 00:30:45,814
Whoo! Brings out the beast in me.

418
00:30:47,374 --> 00:30:52,173
[Wolf pants]
Zippedy-doo-da!

419
00:30:52,173 --> 00:30:55,261
Zip! [Sheep yelps]
Ah-dee-ay!

420
00:30:55,261 --> 00:31:00,534
My, oh, my!
What a wonderful day!

421
00:31:00,534 --> 00:31:01,814
[Wolf smugly chuckles]

422
00:31:01,814 --> 00:31:06,301
Plenty o' moonshine
headin' MY way!

423
00:31:06,301 --> 00:31:11,209
Oh-ho-ho yeah-eh!
Oh-ho, YEAH-eh!

424
00:31:11,209 --> 00:31:15,281
[Howls loudly]

425
00:31:16,141 --> 00:31:21,006
Hey, what's this?
A earthquake?

426
00:31:21,006 --> 00:31:25,646
Wellllllll, I'll be.
That you, mutton head?

427
00:31:25,646 --> 00:31:29,229
Ohhh! Please, Mr. Wolf.
Go find someone else.

428
00:31:29,229 --> 00:31:31,780
I was just out strolling,
munching clover...

429
00:31:31,780 --> 00:31:34,094
That's enough of that,
little girl.

430
00:31:34,094 --> 00:31:37,086
How many times you been warned
'bout movin' out on your own?

431
00:31:37,086 --> 00:31:42,494
Look. I only eat the old, 
and the sick.

432
00:31:42,494 --> 00:31:44,873
I got my code.

433
00:31:44,873 --> 00:31:46,621
So gimme a break with 
the sob story,

434
00:31:46,621 --> 00:31:48,686
'cause I ain't ate 
in a week, little girl.

435
00:31:48,686 --> 00:31:50,605
Don't call me that!

436
00:31:50,605 --> 00:31:54,654
I may be on the meek side,
but I am not little.

437
00:31:54,654 --> 00:31:56,481
Maybe I will end up
in your belly.

438
00:31:56,481 --> 00:32:00,333
BUT! Not before
I account for myself.

439
00:32:00,333 --> 00:32:04,506
[Bell rings]

440
00:32:06,716 --> 00:32:08,402
[Wolf laughs]

441
00:32:08,402 --> 00:32:10,748
Now, don't that 
beat all!

442
00:32:10,748 --> 00:32:13,612
Full moon's got in your
blood too, eh little lady?

443
00:32:13,612 --> 00:32:16,864
Yeah! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

444
00:32:16,864 --> 00:32:18,605
[Wolf laughs mockingly]

445
00:32:18,605 --> 00:32:20,733
A fightin' back.
Well I'll be darned.

446
00:32:20,733 --> 00:32:21,641
Ow!

447
00:32:22,781 --> 00:32:26,189
Oh I didn't mean it!
Oh, please don't get mad.

448
00:32:26,189 --> 00:32:28,893
Ow! You little moron!

449
00:32:28,893 --> 00:32:33,282
Don'tcha know
you could get hurt doin' that?

450
00:32:33,282 --> 00:32:35,277
I dunno what's come over me.

451
00:32:35,277 --> 00:32:36,448
[Wolf grunts and groans]

452
00:32:36,448 --> 00:32:39,148
One day I'm munching clover,
and the next, I'm --

453
00:32:39,148 --> 00:32:42,141
pugilizing with canis lupus.

454
00:32:42,141 --> 00:32:45,748
Pugilizin'?! Sounds weird.

455
00:32:45,748 --> 00:32:49,037
Tradin' blows?
Fisticuffs?

456
00:32:49,037 --> 00:32:52,045
Tusslin'? Dukin' it out?
Goin' ten --

457
00:32:52,045 --> 00:32:54,876
Alright! Enough with the words!

458
00:32:54,876 --> 00:32:57,852
You gonna make a run for it,
or what?

459
00:32:57,852 --> 00:32:59,964
I got important things
to attend to!

460
00:32:59,964 --> 00:33:02,636
With very important wolves.

461
00:33:04,926 --> 00:33:07,244
You're kidding.

462
00:33:07,244 --> 00:33:08,861
Whatta ya mean? 
Whatta ya mean?

463
00:33:08,861 --> 00:33:10,417
I tell ya, I'm in a hurry.

464
00:33:10,417 --> 00:33:13,373
Why, me and some friends,
I -- I --

465
00:33:13,373 --> 00:33:14,413
What? What's wrong?

466
00:33:14,413 --> 00:33:16,932
Nothin'! Gol-durn it.

467
00:33:16,932 --> 00:33:20,109
What? What about your friends?
Is something wrong?

468
00:33:20,109 --> 00:33:22,380
Full moon's got me talkin' funny.

469
00:33:22,380 --> 00:33:25,301
No, no, something's wrong.
I can sense it.

470
00:33:25,301 --> 00:33:27,598
I'm very attuned
to the emotional manifestations

471
00:33:27,598 --> 00:33:30,732
of my fellow beings.
Something's awry.

472
00:33:30,732 --> 00:33:32,723
Nothin' crunchin' your bones 
won't fix!

473
00:33:32,723 --> 00:33:35,964
Your friends?
What about your friends?

474
00:33:35,964 --> 00:33:38,481
Big Shots.
Every one o' them.

475
00:33:38,481 --> 00:33:40,256
Leaders of the pack!

476
00:33:40,256 --> 00:33:41,628
Take me with you!

477
00:33:41,628 --> 00:33:44,062
Oh, this is the adventure
I've always dreamed of!

478
00:33:44,062 --> 00:33:49,249
Shee-oot! What's this
gol-dang world coming to?

479
00:33:49,249 --> 00:33:52,668
Now, listen.
If you don't start runnin' or fightin'

480
00:33:52,668 --> 00:33:57,116
right quick, I'm gonna get ornery.
Then you'll really be sorry!

481
00:33:57,116 --> 00:33:59,757
It's your last chance!

482
00:33:59,757 --> 00:34:02,204
Let me meet 'em.
I can tell 'em some

483
00:34:02,204 --> 00:34:04,412
friendly shepherd jokes.

484
00:34:04,412 --> 00:34:06,380
I got this one about an
'embraceable ewe'

485
00:34:06,380 --> 00:34:08,926
that'll put 'em in stitches.

486
00:34:08,926 --> 00:34:13,582
Alright, alright, alright.
I know when my leg's being pulled.

487
00:34:13,582 --> 00:34:16,832
Now, look.
If I brought you back with me,

488
00:34:16,832 --> 00:34:19,293
well, I'd get laughed out
of the pack.

489
00:34:20,073 --> 00:34:23,036
You're afraid to be alone?

490
00:34:23,036 --> 00:34:27,053
Big stud wolf,
afraid to be alone?

491
00:34:27,053 --> 00:34:31,325
Can't face up to his own
reflection in the watering hole?

492
00:34:31,325 --> 00:34:32,882
I am alone!


493
00:34:32,882 --> 00:34:35,809
I ain't got no friends, OK?
Ya happy now?

494
00:34:35,809 --> 00:34:40,269
I was kicked out for in -- uh --
in -- uh --

495
00:34:40,269 --> 00:34:43,004
infedulity!

496
00:34:43,764 --> 00:34:46,109
Infidelity?

497
00:34:46,109 --> 00:34:49,164
Yep. She's not my woman.

498
00:34:49,164 --> 00:34:52,318
All wolves in the wild are women,
normally.

499
00:34:52,318 --> 00:34:58,157
But, when the pups came along,
it was bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch.

500
00:34:58,157 --> 00:35:01,260
The good times stopped,
and one thing led to another,

501
00:35:01,260 --> 00:35:06,400
and one night, I raised a ruckus
with one of the younger ones.

502
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:09,464
Got thrown out on my ear.

503
00:35:10,124 --> 00:35:14,301
You're an outsider.
A 'lone wolf.'

504
00:35:14,301 --> 00:35:16,828
As lonely as they come.

505
00:35:18,678 --> 00:35:20,397
Oh, I get it!

506
00:35:20,397 --> 00:35:23,792
Tryin' to get on my good side,
with sympathy, aren't ya?

507
00:35:23,792 --> 00:35:25,404
Hey, I'm onto you, sweetheart!

508
00:35:25,404 --> 00:35:29,789
You gotta get up pretty early
in the mornin' to fool ol' Loopy.

509
00:35:29,789 --> 00:35:31,900
Darn, I told ya my name!

510
00:35:31,900 --> 00:35:33,693
Why'd I go and 
tell you my name?

511
00:35:33,693 --> 00:35:35,020
Short for Guadalupe?

512
00:35:35,020 --> 00:35:38,557
No, Loopy. Like....

513
00:35:38,557 --> 00:35:40,751
Hi. I'm Harriet.

514
00:35:42,821 --> 00:35:44,782
And you're an outlaw.

515
00:35:44,782 --> 00:35:49,405
A savage desert denizen,
traveling fast -- traveling light.

516
00:35:49,405 --> 00:35:51,966
Asking and giving no quarter.

517
00:35:51,966 --> 00:35:55,790
Content to let the buffalo chips
fall where they may.

518
00:35:55,790 --> 00:35:58,604
Taking as it comes, day by day.

519
00:35:58,604 --> 00:36:02,013
Your only friend: your wily wolf wit.

520
00:36:02,013 --> 00:36:05,005
I've always admired your kind, Loopy!

521
00:36:05,005 --> 00:36:09,452
Why, in my younger years,
I rather fancied myself a black sheep.

522
00:36:09,452 --> 00:36:12,172
Sort of a...maverick in mohair?

523
00:36:12,172 --> 00:36:15,901
Marching to the tinkle of my own bell?

524
00:36:16,681 --> 00:36:20,738
'Til one day it all went grey,
and I settled in.

525
00:36:21,358 --> 00:36:23,197
You told me YOUR name?!

526
00:36:23,197 --> 00:36:25,709
Why'd you have to go and 
tell me YOUR name?!

527
00:36:25,709 --> 00:36:27,734
Victuals ain't got no name.

528
00:36:27,734 --> 00:36:29,252
[Vulture caws]

529
00:36:29,252 --> 00:36:30,784
What's that?!

530
00:36:30,784 --> 00:36:31,788
What's what?

531
00:36:32,518 --> 00:36:33,797
[Vulture caws]

532
00:36:33,797 --> 00:36:35,484
Stop that noise!

533
00:36:35,484 --> 00:36:37,804
Oh, THAT noise. 
Just --

534
00:36:37,804 --> 00:36:38,924
[Vulture caws]

535
00:36:38,924 --> 00:36:40,437
a garden variety
turkey vulture.

536
00:36:40,437 --> 00:36:41,634
Don't be scared.

537
00:36:41,634 --> 00:36:42,636
[Vulture caws]

538
00:36:42,636 --> 00:36:44,757
Vultures have never 
attacked anything alive.

539
00:36:44,757 --> 00:36:46,828
No he waits in line,
all polite-like, 'til

540
00:36:46,828 --> 00:36:49,404
the original killers
have had our fill.

541
00:36:49,404 --> 00:36:52,853
Then, after I slink off
and let Mr. Stomach do his job,

542
00:36:52,853 --> 00:36:54,259
on the FRESH meat --

543
00:36:54,259 --> 00:36:55,549
[Vulture caws]

544
00:36:55,549 --> 00:36:59,836
them vultures fill their entrails
on the carcass.

545
00:36:59,836 --> 00:37:02,972
Only when the stench of the
rotten flesh will make a horse fly puke

546
00:37:02,972 --> 00:37:06,414
does your vulture move in.

547
00:37:06,414 --> 00:37:09,772
See? Everybody's
got his way of doin' things.

548
00:37:09,772 --> 00:37:12,204
Relaaaaax.

549
00:37:12,204 --> 00:37:15,052
That vulture don't concern you.

550
00:37:15,052 --> 00:37:16,541
YET.

551
00:37:20,161 --> 00:37:23,650
Loopy? I love you.

552
00:37:23,650 --> 00:37:27,142
Love? LOVE?!

553
00:37:27,142 --> 00:37:28,404
Come on, girl!

554
00:37:28,404 --> 00:37:31,404
That's just your way of saying
you think you're better than me.

555
00:37:31,404 --> 00:37:33,148
That's not true!

556
00:37:33,148 --> 00:37:36,076
You have many --
fine qualities.

557
00:37:36,076 --> 00:37:38,220
Courageous hunter?

558
00:37:38,220 --> 00:37:40,508
Intrepid explorer?

559
00:37:40,508 --> 00:37:42,306
Rugged individualist?

560
00:37:42,306 --> 00:37:43,356
- Hmm --

561
00:37:43,356 --> 00:37:46,455
The frontier spirit incarnate.

562
00:37:46,455 --> 00:37:47,484
Why, with --

563
00:37:47,484 --> 00:37:50,476
with just a few lessons
in philosophy,

564
00:37:50,476 --> 00:37:53,356
in etiquette,
in personal hygiene --

565
00:37:53,356 --> 00:37:54,540
- I think it --

566
00:37:54,540 --> 00:37:57,185
[GROWLS ANGRILY]

567
00:37:58,165 --> 00:38:00,861
No, hy-GIENE.

568
00:38:00,861 --> 00:38:02,541
Cleanliness?

569
00:38:02,541 --> 00:38:04,286
Which is next to Godliness?

570
00:38:04,286 --> 00:38:06,269
Except with you, 
it's next to impossible.

571
00:38:06,269 --> 00:38:07,308
[Wolf growls]

572
00:38:07,308 --> 00:38:08,508
Anyway!

573
00:38:08,508 --> 00:38:11,580
With just a few lessons --
in rhetoric, in elocution.

574
00:38:11,580 --> 00:38:14,268
And a dash -- 
just a teensy dash --

575
00:38:14,268 --> 00:38:16,844
of political analysis thrown in.

576
00:38:16,844 --> 00:38:19,436
Incisive, five week --

577
00:38:19,436 --> 00:38:20,876
Alright!

578
00:38:20,876 --> 00:38:23,052
Listen, fleece bag.

579
00:38:23,052 --> 00:38:25,756
My empty stomach says
tea time is over.

580
00:38:25,756 --> 00:38:29,051
Let's cut the chit chat,
and proceed to the heart of the menu.

581
00:38:29,051 --> 00:38:32,124
Move! Make a run for it,
before I lose my temper

582
00:38:32,124 --> 00:38:34,091
and get VIOLENT!

583
00:38:46,221 --> 00:38:48,299
I've been outfoxed.

584
00:38:48,299 --> 00:38:50,605
I can run no more.

585
00:38:50,605 --> 00:38:52,861
I'm big enough to admit
to your superiority

586
00:38:52,861 --> 00:38:54,860
in the scheme of things.

587
00:38:54,860 --> 00:38:59,788
Crush these feeble limbs
in your bear-trap jaws.

588
00:38:59,788 --> 00:39:03,226
Better this, than to grow flabby
in some meadow.

589
00:39:03,226 --> 00:39:04,988
Do me this favor.

590
00:39:04,988 --> 00:39:07,900
Son of a...buzzard.

591
00:39:07,900 --> 00:39:09,244
Please!

592
00:39:09,244 --> 00:39:11,965
End my squalid existence.

593
00:39:11,965 --> 00:39:14,976
Make wolf-flesh of my marrow.

594
00:39:14,976 --> 00:39:19,291
Gorge on me, that I may be
transformed.

595
00:39:19,291 --> 00:39:22,884
But! What's in it for you?

596
00:39:23,874 --> 00:39:26,781
Immediate gratification?
And then what?

597
00:39:26,781 --> 00:39:29,708
Inside of a week,
you'll be on the prowl again.

598
00:39:29,708 --> 00:39:36,284
A pathetic slobbering beast
with only one thing on its tiny mind.

599
00:39:36,284 --> 00:39:40,011
Enslaved by a hunger 
which has no end.

600
00:39:40,011 --> 00:39:43,291
All I wanted was a square meal.

601
00:39:43,291 --> 00:39:46,267
Ohhhh.
Loopy, I love you.

602
00:39:46,267 --> 00:39:48,027
I want to help you.

603
00:39:48,027 --> 00:39:52,027
The only way you could help me
would be by committin' suicide

604
00:39:52,027 --> 00:39:54,923
and servin' yourself up on a platter!

605
00:39:54,923 --> 00:39:57,244
Loopy, I know things.

606
00:39:57,244 --> 00:40:00,476
All those years in the sweet
and boring clover,

607
00:40:00,476 --> 00:40:04,092
I was thinking!
Watching the sun rise,

608
00:40:04,092 --> 00:40:06,198
and set,
sniffing the blue air.

609
00:40:08,478 --> 00:40:09,598
[Wolf sniffs loudly]

610
00:40:09,598 --> 00:40:11,724
Seeing the stars at night.

611
00:40:11,724 --> 00:40:13,788
Feeling the change of the seasons.

612
00:40:13,788 --> 00:40:20,409
White winters huddled in the barn.
Green springtime. Blazing summer.

613
00:40:20,409 --> 00:40:25,137
Smoky autumn. All the while,
I'm thinking.

614
00:40:25,137 --> 00:40:28,572
I started wondering why
everything is the way it is.

615
00:40:28,572 --> 00:40:32,764
And, the more I wondered why
the less I saw the majesty around me.

616
00:40:32,764 --> 00:40:35,645
But I couldn't stop the wondering!

617
00:40:35,645 --> 00:40:42,685
One day, as the little ones
were led off to the blade, it hit me.

618
00:40:42,685 --> 00:40:43,948
It hit ya?

619
00:40:43,948 --> 00:40:45,644
The reason for everything!

620
00:40:45,644 --> 00:40:47,455
Huh?

621
00:40:47,455 --> 00:40:49,963
Why we're here.

622
00:40:49,963 --> 00:40:54,972
Why these rocks are hard
and still warm, even as moonshine

623
00:40:54,972 --> 00:40:56,588
coats them in silver.

624
00:40:56,588 --> 00:40:59,594
Why meadow grass
is green and slick.

625
00:40:59,594 --> 00:41:02,444
Why rain and snow make rivers.

626
00:41:02,444 --> 00:41:04,732
Why wolves love mutton?

627
00:41:04,732 --> 00:41:06,287
Why wolves love mutton.

628
00:41:06,287 --> 00:41:08,252
And why you won't eat me.

629
00:41:09,242 --> 00:41:10,075
I won't?

630
00:41:10,075 --> 00:41:11,983
Nope! You won't.

631
00:41:11,983 --> 00:41:19,143
But -- if I eat you, wouldn't I
automatically know these things?

632
00:41:19,563 --> 00:41:22,492
I hear flatworms do it that way.

633
00:41:22,492 --> 00:41:27,211
One of the elders of the pack
was tellin' us about a "experiment"

634
00:41:27,211 --> 00:41:31,259
he heard about. Seems that some
flatworms was trained to

635
00:41:31,259 --> 00:41:36,523
wiggle through a maze, to get some food.
Then, they was ground up into

636
00:41:36,523 --> 00:41:41,451
tiny chunks of meat,
and fed to some baby flatworms.

637
00:41:41,451 --> 00:41:45,308
First thing ya know,
them babies is negotiatin' that maze

638
00:41:45,308 --> 00:41:51,292
like they was born to it.
One generation feedin' the next.

639
00:41:51,292 --> 00:41:56,036
So I was wonderin' -- if I eat you,
[Harriet yelps]

640
00:41:56,036 --> 00:41:58,960
won't I know these things?

641
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:02,395
[Harriet laughs uneasily]
Sorry.

642
00:42:03,515 --> 00:42:06,844
You're a wolf, and I'm a sheep.

643
00:42:06,844 --> 00:42:11,275
I will not allow the blow to your
self-esteem, of comparing yourself

644
00:42:11,275 --> 00:42:15,773
to a mere 
[scientific word for flatworm.]

645
00:42:15,773 --> 00:42:18,491
Loopy! We're not worms.

646
00:42:18,491 --> 00:42:21,511
Okay! So why we here?
And why do wolves love mutton?

647
00:42:21,511 --> 00:42:23,659
I don't know that you're
sophisticated enough

648
00:42:23,659 --> 00:42:25,131
to understand that just yet.

649
00:42:25,131 --> 00:42:28,971
That's enough! I have sat through
your tales too long!

650
00:42:28,971 --> 00:42:33,131
My guts are howlin' louder than
Uncle Louie at the last eclipse.

651
00:42:33,131 --> 00:42:34,795
I know why there are eclipses!

652
00:42:34,795 --> 00:42:38,686
I don't give a hoot why!
[Whooshing sound]

653
00:42:38,686 --> 00:42:43,852
[Wolf whimpers]
What was that?!

654
00:42:45,392 --> 00:42:49,965
I know why the stars are
faaaaallllliiiiinnnnng!

655
00:42:49,965 --> 00:42:51,040
Why?!

656
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:53,489
Why, I'd need at least a week
to explain it to you.

657
00:42:53,489 --> 00:42:57,755
Oh, you're stallin'!
[Thunder sounds]

658
00:42:57,755 --> 00:43:00,155
[Wolf whimpers]
[Sheep snickers]

659
00:43:00,155 --> 00:43:02,257
[Wolf] What's goin' on?

660
00:43:02,852 --> 00:43:05,072
[Wolf panting]

661
00:43:05,072 --> 00:43:06,492
[Sheep yelps] Oooh! Stop!

662
00:43:06,492 --> 00:43:10,795
Move no closer!
Just...keep...pursuing me...

663
00:43:10,795 --> 00:43:12,395
hungry.

664
00:43:12,395 --> 00:43:18,124
Keep your beautiful savagery.
May your jaws always drip.

665
00:43:18,124 --> 00:43:22,059
Desire is a beautiful thing, 
Loopy.

666
00:43:22,059 --> 00:43:27,084
Eat me now, and you'll be hungry
tomorrow, with no one to talk to.

667
00:43:27,084 --> 00:43:30,735
Keep me alive, and you can want me
forever.

668
00:43:30,735 --> 00:43:33,727
Oh, Loopy, we can do it.
Let's be friends!

669
00:43:34,517 --> 00:43:40,331
I -- I -- am hungry.
I eat.

670
00:43:40,331 --> 00:43:43,723
You are pink and tender.

671
00:43:43,723 --> 00:43:48,347
My fur bristles.
I drool. I eat!

672
00:43:48,347 --> 00:43:51,403
You'll stay as you are,
forever wolf.

673
00:43:51,403 --> 00:43:53,163
Let me civilize you!

674
00:43:53,163 --> 00:43:56,523
[Wolf grunts] My body 
howls for you!

675
00:43:56,523 --> 00:43:58,699
What of the heavens,
dear wolf?

676
00:43:58,699 --> 00:44:09,547
[Whooshing sound]
[Distant thunder]

677
00:44:09,547 --> 00:44:12,588
You won't distract me
with your talkin'.

678
00:44:12,588 --> 00:44:17,403
So, you've run with horses, have you?
Enough!

679
00:44:17,403 --> 00:44:21,525
Run! Fight!
Account for yourself.

680
00:44:21,525 --> 00:44:23,132
You ask alien things.

681
00:44:23,132 --> 00:44:25,739
Why not entreat
these rocks to sing?

682
00:44:25,739 --> 00:44:28,251
You're a cunning one,
and a coward.

683
00:44:28,251 --> 00:44:30,940
[Sheep gasps] A thirst slaked
by a coward's blood

684
00:44:30,940 --> 00:44:32,795
would leave you parched, yes?

685
00:44:32,795 --> 00:44:34,316
[Wolf] You're not worth it!

686
00:44:34,316 --> 00:44:39,659
Not worth it?!
I offer you eternal desire!

687
00:44:39,659 --> 00:44:45,226
Friendship! [Exhales]
Big tough wolf. [Bell rings]

688
00:44:45,226 --> 00:44:46,680
I'll beat you, old Loopy.

689
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:48,628
You don't wanna be my friend.
[Bell rings]

690
00:44:48,628 --> 00:44:51,105
You just wanna save your skin.
Make a fool out of me.

691
00:44:51,105 --> 00:44:52,651
[Bell rings] I got news for ya.

692
00:44:52,651 --> 00:44:55,321
You can walk a mile in my shoes,
and never fill my boots.

693
00:44:55,321 --> 00:44:58,210
Oh, sorry, Loopster.
Takes guts to be my pal.

694
00:44:58,210 --> 00:45:02,587
You just ain't got what it takes.
Call me what you want:

695
00:45:02,587 --> 00:45:06,619
Howl at the sun and call it the moon
if it makes you feel any better!

696
00:45:06,619 --> 00:45:09,387
[Sheep chokes, bell rings]

697
00:45:09,387 --> 00:45:13,259
[Wolf howls loudly]

698
00:45:13,259 --> 00:45:23,243
[Wolf laughs, bell rings]

699
00:45:23,243 --> 00:45:31,627
Your move...PAL.
[Wolf laughs]

700
00:45:31,627 --> 00:45:36,903
[Vulture caws]

701
00:45:41,083 --> 00:45:49,544
[Applause]

702
00:45:49,544 --> 00:45:52,699
[Acoustic guitar bridge]

703
00:45:52,699 --> 00:46:17,226
[Phrase repeats]

704
00:46:17,226 --> 00:46:23,019
I let out a primal scream
all the neighbors heard.

705
00:46:23,019 --> 00:46:28,811
I woke them up from their dreams
while their children stirred.

706
00:46:28,811 --> 00:46:34,411
I released a primal scream
ripped out from my core.

707
00:46:34,411 --> 00:46:43,210
All the slaughter I had seen,
I couldn't hold it any more.

708
00:46:43,210 --> 00:46:48,827
They look at me funny,
intrigued by what they see

709
00:46:48,827 --> 00:46:54,699
though my smile is sunny
when I pass by their children's feet.

710
00:46:54,699 --> 00:47:02,347
[Guitar phrase]

711
00:47:02,347 --> 00:47:08,027
I ripped out a primal scream
through the neighborhood.

712
00:47:08,027 --> 00:47:14,091
I did not do anything
like a neighbor should.

713
00:47:14,091 --> 00:47:19,131
I howled a primal scream,
sent lightning through the air.

714
00:47:19,131 --> 00:47:24,893
I'm better now than I do seem.
They don't really care.

715
00:47:24,893 --> 00:47:28,714
[Guitar flourish]

716
00:47:28,714 --> 00:47:34,027
They look at me funny,
intrigued by what they see

717
00:47:34,027 --> 00:47:40,043
though my smile is sunny
when I pass by their children's feet.

718
00:47:40,043 --> 00:47:47,355
[Guitar phrase]

719
00:47:47,355 --> 00:47:53,275
I let out a primal scream
all the neighbors heard.

720
00:47:53,275 --> 00:47:58,954
I woke them up from their dreams
while their children stirred.

721
00:47:58,954 --> 00:48:04,554
I released a primal scream
ripped out from my core.

722
00:48:04,554 --> 00:48:10,779
All the slaughter I have seen
I couldn't hold it any more.

723
00:48:10,779 --> 00:48:13,418
[Guitar flourish]

724
00:48:13,418 --> 00:48:17,611
[Guitar phrase]

725
00:48:17,611 --> 00:48:20,747
Christopher Lopez.
All the way from Greenfield California.

726
00:48:20,747 --> 00:48:33,350
[Applause]

727
00:49:00,330 --> 00:49:03,467
Who can shave an egg?

728
00:49:04,667 --> 00:49:07,130
[Irish accent]
You were born into a raw deal.

729
00:49:07,130 --> 00:49:11,375
It's not the detail.
Two decades' worth of therapy.

730
00:49:11,375 --> 00:49:16,778
Chalk it up to life on earth.
Everybody pays.

731
00:49:16,778 --> 00:49:21,530
We're responsible for investing
our lives with meaning.

732
00:49:21,530 --> 00:49:28,405
You make vengeance your god,
saieth you, you who are.

733
00:49:29,995 --> 00:49:33,564
You can't hide an eel in a sack.

734
00:49:33,564 --> 00:49:39,530
The man deserves what he got, huh?
He was fat. Jabba the Hut rotund.

735
00:49:39,530 --> 00:49:43,178
He lied in court.
He suborned perjury.

736
00:49:43,178 --> 00:49:47,644
Then got a restrainin' order.
They took away your gun.

737
00:49:47,644 --> 00:49:53,261
Well, ya had some new songs.
Ya found a studio in the Yellow Pages.

738
00:49:53,261 --> 00:49:56,747
This was when digital was
replacing analog.

739
00:49:56,747 --> 00:50:02,842
He lied to you, that his
Roland 680 was state of the art.

740
00:50:02,842 --> 00:50:06,907
You later learned it was
only fit for home demos.

741
00:50:06,907 --> 00:50:10,746
He set up the studio
in his home rec room.

742
00:50:10,746 --> 00:50:13,963
He said he'd back up
each day's work.

743
00:50:13,963 --> 00:50:18,510
After three months
in the fat man's studio,

744
00:50:18,510 --> 00:50:22,722
he erased an instrumental track.
He made a big show of

745
00:50:22,722 --> 00:50:25,627
punchin' buttons,
and he swiveled around,

746
00:50:25,627 --> 00:50:29,194
and said he couldn't
find it in his backup files.

747
00:50:29,194 --> 00:50:32,202
There were no backup files.

748
00:50:32,202 --> 00:50:37,530
You decided to mix everything
as fast as possible, then get out

749
00:50:37,530 --> 00:50:42,127
if other bits turned up missing.
You extracted what you could,

750
00:50:42,127 --> 00:50:45,081
and sent the fat man
a [?]

751
00:50:46,731 --> 00:50:50,586
Prompted by his attorney,
he asked the Judge,

752
00:50:50,586 --> 00:50:56,443
"Why, if he was so incompetent,
you spent 3 months in his studio?"

753
00:50:56,443 --> 00:50:59,278
Well, you replied
that you recorded all the material

754
00:50:59,278 --> 00:51:02,016
before you mixed it.
And so you didn't learn

755
00:51:02,016 --> 00:51:04,532
about the fraud 
until much later.

756
00:51:04,532 --> 00:51:07,678
The fat man brought in
a psychiatrist.

757
00:51:07,678 --> 00:51:10,267
[German accent]
Who analyzed your lyrics.

758
00:51:10,267 --> 00:51:13,328
And testified that "someone
as sick as you should never

759
00:51:13,328 --> 00:51:16,432
have been allowed
into the fat man's home."

760
00:51:17,802 --> 00:51:21,130
[Irish accent] You printed up
2 dozen flyers,

761
00:51:21,130 --> 00:51:24,634
advertising the fat man's address
as a recording studio

762
00:51:24,634 --> 00:51:28,394
with an absurdly low hourly rate.

763
00:51:28,394 --> 00:51:34,139
Wearin' surgical gloves, ya papered
the black sections of Seaside.

764
00:51:34,139 --> 00:51:39,286
Next ya heard, a crackhead shot him
in a home invasion.

765
00:51:41,426 --> 00:51:44,446
It is hard for an empty bag
to sit upright.

766
00:51:44,446 --> 00:51:47,786
She...was...an actress.

767
00:51:47,786 --> 00:51:51,756
A refugee from Hollywood's 
enervatin' rituals.

768
00:51:51,756 --> 00:51:54,144
Workin' in a nearby record shop.

769
00:51:55,394 --> 00:52:01,678
By now, CDs were on their way out,
and only connoisseurs purchased vinyl.

770
00:52:01,678 --> 00:52:06,426
Some afternoons, you had her
all to yourself.

771
00:52:06,426 --> 00:52:09,258
When she mentioned her husband
in passing,

772
00:52:09,258 --> 00:52:12,062
you remarked that she wore no ring.

773
00:52:12,062 --> 00:52:16,702
"That's because I might be cast
as an unmarried woman," she said.

774
00:52:16,702 --> 00:52:20,000
"I can't even risk an indentation
on my finger."

775
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:23,784
Oh-ho! The sacrifices we make for art.

776
00:52:25,114 --> 00:52:29,002
You reason that such a blemish
would not be visible at all on stage.

777
00:52:29,002 --> 00:52:33,578
You concluded that, consciously or not,
the real blemish on her life

778
00:52:33,578 --> 00:52:35,786
was her marriage.

779
00:52:36,236 --> 00:52:40,010
Now, actresses are always ready
to talk about themselves.

780
00:52:40,010 --> 00:52:43,573
It was therefore easy to learn
that her husband was

781
00:52:43,573 --> 00:52:50,534
4 years younger than she, and
somethin' of a psychological basket case.

782
00:52:51,834 --> 00:52:58,281
Takin' a break from his video games,
Chubby Hubby wandered in one foggy day,

783
00:52:58,281 --> 00:53:02,847
sayin' he needed her email password.

784
00:53:02,847 --> 00:53:06,571
Pullin' him by his elbow
into the British Invasion aisle,

785
00:53:06,571 --> 00:53:08,842
she told him no.

786
00:53:08,842 --> 00:53:14,338
Though you tried invisibility,
Chubby Hubby judged you

787
00:53:14,338 --> 00:53:18,013
to have witnessed his
emasculation.

788
00:53:18,013 --> 00:53:23,851
Glarin' at ya from below the brim
of his skull and bones festooned cap,

789
00:53:23,851 --> 00:53:30,090
the would-be cuckold said, sotto-voce,
"So. Who's the music lover?"

790
00:53:30,090 --> 00:53:33,498
"Call me Seattle Grant," you said,
extending your hand

791
00:53:33,498 --> 00:53:38,729
as he lumbered past ya
into misty Pacific Grove.

792
00:53:38,729 --> 00:53:41,370
[?] wife, busying herself,

793
00:53:41,370 --> 00:53:45,466
with Jerry and the Pacemakers'
Greatest Hits.

794
00:53:47,176 --> 00:53:50,582
To cut down an oak,
and set up a strawberry.

795
00:53:51,402 --> 00:53:57,262
With her permission, you use them
as a model, as would a painter.

796
00:53:58,522 --> 00:54:01,387
Except you spent no time together.

797
00:54:01,387 --> 00:54:06,314
You enrolled her as a concubine
in your imaginary harem.

798
00:54:06,314 --> 00:54:09,980
You were a kind and generous Sultan.

799
00:54:09,980 --> 00:54:14,555
On your wedding night,
you excused her lack of virginity,

800
00:54:14,555 --> 00:54:19,690
having suffered years of
phallic intrusion by Chubby Hubby.

801
00:54:19,690 --> 00:54:23,019
She wept.
You consoled her

802
00:54:23,019 --> 00:54:28,874
by composing the first of dozens of
adorational ballads to your muse.

803
00:54:30,144 --> 00:54:34,346
As time passed,
you'd enter the used record store, and

804
00:54:34,346 --> 00:54:41,002
covertly examine her face, her neck,
and her arms, for bruises

805
00:54:41,002 --> 00:54:45,785
or lacerations left by your
un[?] surrogate.

806
00:54:45,785 --> 00:54:51,776
She always passed inspection,
but you were certain he abused her.

807
00:54:52,746 --> 00:54:56,911
As your fantasy wife, she accompanied you
to Majorca,

808
00:54:56,911 --> 00:54:59,658
and other Mediterranean destinations.

809
00:54:59,658 --> 00:55:06,220
Ooh, there was a menage a trois in Ibiza.
An orgy in Algiers.

810
00:55:06,220 --> 00:55:13,289
She confessed that her pre-coital
fantasies of Arab men were not being met.

811
00:55:13,289 --> 00:55:15,930
Ya Googled her,

812
00:55:15,930 --> 00:55:19,962
and accumulated an
incremental biography.

813
00:55:19,962 --> 00:55:23,450
B. A. in Theater, some knockabout
years in Hollywood,

814
00:55:23,450 --> 00:55:28,166
before she followed a 
National Guardsman to Ford Ord.

815
00:55:29,126 --> 00:55:32,713
Nuptials were soon ruptured
by shock and awe.

816
00:55:32,713 --> 00:55:36,644
The war, not the wedding night.

817
00:55:38,824 --> 00:55:45,146
Chubby Hubby forged a discharge,
and they settled in Pacific Grove.

818
00:55:45,146 --> 00:55:49,002
She supported her 'acting habit' 
at the record store,

819
00:55:49,002 --> 00:55:52,849
while Chubby Hubby
"looked for a job."

820
00:55:53,659 --> 00:55:57,783
You confess.
You smell the discord.

821
00:55:58,743 --> 00:56:02,778
"I'm plottin' to liberate her
from the slacker."

822
00:56:02,778 --> 00:56:07,787
You casually handed her
recordings of your latest songs.

823
00:56:07,787 --> 00:56:13,786
Sighting the odd article on adultery,
you don the surgical gloves,

824
00:56:13,786 --> 00:56:17,135
clip it out, and mail it anonymously
to her.

825
00:56:17,135 --> 00:56:21,194
You concur.
You inquire after his well-being,

826
00:56:21,194 --> 00:56:26,490
as she stuffed used CDs in a bag,
and received your cash.

827
00:56:26,490 --> 00:56:32,538
One day, you grazed her palm with
your guitarists' lengthy fingernails.

828
00:56:32,538 --> 00:56:35,627
She pretended not to notice.

829
00:56:38,797 --> 00:56:42,473
Undone, as a man would
undo an oyster.

830
00:56:42,953 --> 00:56:47,404
She was the product of 
Manifest Destiny and genocide.

831
00:56:47,404 --> 00:56:49,866
The rape of the New World
by the Old.

832
00:56:49,866 --> 00:56:53,530
Immune to the fallacy
of white liberal guilt,

833
00:56:53,530 --> 00:56:57,177
you prized her hybrid charms.

834
00:56:57,177 --> 00:57:00,442
The shiny, raven, 
Native American hair

835
00:57:00,442 --> 00:57:05,675
curled by old English blood
into a frizzy electric storm.

836
00:57:05,675 --> 00:57:08,074
Her alien almond eyes.

837
00:57:08,074 --> 00:57:13,291
The cafe-au-lait skin,
smooth as porcelain.

838
00:57:13,291 --> 00:57:20,585
Local theater stretched her thespian
talent in all the wrong ways.

839
00:57:20,585 --> 00:57:25,513
Each company trumpeted
its speakin' of truth to power

840
00:57:25,513 --> 00:57:29,113
all of 'em bleatin' to the
leftist choir.

841
00:57:29,113 --> 00:57:32,506
Cuttin' edge exposes
of Joe McCarthy.

842
00:57:32,506 --> 00:57:34,842
50 years too late.

843
00:57:34,842 --> 00:57:38,297
Investigations of
racism and homophobia

844
00:57:38,297 --> 00:57:41,242
as though penned by the
Soviet Central Committee

845
00:57:41,242 --> 00:57:46,009
for Cultural Enlightenment,
circa 1968.

846
00:57:46,009 --> 00:57:51,113
You venture to a staged reading
of a George Bernard Shaw trifle,

847
00:57:51,113 --> 00:57:57,689
a two-hander exposin' early 20th
century British attitudes toward

848
00:57:57,689 --> 00:58:02,649
matrimony, which the program
promised would

849
00:58:02,649 --> 00:58:05,465
"Blow the roof off the 
patriarchy."

850
00:58:05,465 --> 00:58:09,065
Fearful you'll emit 
a tell-tale snore,

851
00:58:09,065 --> 00:58:11,838
you dozed off anyway.

852
00:58:13,098 --> 00:58:17,401
You waited in the empty lobby,
its walls festooned with

853
00:58:17,401 --> 00:58:21,854
curlin' photos of
Robinson Jeffers and friends.

854
00:58:22,434 --> 00:58:25,209
Chubby Hubby was absent.

855
00:58:25,209 --> 00:58:30,025
She strolled from the dressin' room,
thanked ya for comin',

856
00:58:30,025 --> 00:58:33,681
and then, she embraced you.

857
00:58:34,441 --> 00:58:39,657
Months later, just to kick yourself
for having stiffened,

858
00:58:39,657 --> 00:58:44,019
no, not the adolescent
kind of stiffened.

859
00:58:44,019 --> 00:58:50,086
You tensed, panicked, you lacked
the necessary languor. Blew it.

860
00:58:50,086 --> 00:58:53,325
You -- you tried deciphering 
her intent.

861
00:58:53,325 --> 00:58:56,846
But the green silk sleeves
enveloped ya.

862
00:58:56,846 --> 00:59:00,441
Was this a 'theater people' greeting?

863
00:59:00,441 --> 00:59:04,521
A drownin' woman
graspin' for a life saver?

864
00:59:04,521 --> 00:59:11,183
A friendly hug? A sign?
An...invitation?

865
00:59:11,183 --> 00:59:15,033
Blushin', you withdrew, 
prayin' she wouldn't ask you

866
00:59:15,033 --> 00:59:16,730
your opinion of the piece.

867
00:59:16,730 --> 00:59:18,905
She asked.

868
00:59:18,905 --> 00:59:22,865
You abated.
"You do a great English accent!"

869
00:59:24,475 --> 00:59:29,867
As you walked her to her Ferrari-red
Toyota sedan with the Oregon plates,

870
00:59:29,867 --> 00:59:35,241
eyes downward,
you spied her sandaled feet.

871
00:59:35,241 --> 00:59:40,873
While most are bestial, calloused,
or grotesquely malformed,

872
00:59:40,873 --> 00:59:44,734
hers were something Seraphic.

873
00:59:44,734 --> 00:59:49,434
Her toes were neither
prehensile nor stubby.

874
00:59:49,434 --> 00:59:53,657
The neatly trimmed nails
boasted no lurid lacquer.

875
00:59:53,657 --> 00:59:58,985
It was as though a cherub had fallen 
from a Michelangelo ceilin'

876
00:59:58,985 --> 01:00:05,029
and was stridin' across the shade
dappled gravel, with you.

877
01:00:06,239 --> 01:00:10,442
Thirty seconds to her car,
half a minute.

878
01:00:10,442 --> 01:00:14,042
Twenty eternities.

879
01:00:14,042 --> 01:00:16,619
But your breath caught in your throat.

880
01:00:16,619 --> 01:00:20,298
As she slid the key into the 
vaginal door slot,

881
01:00:20,298 --> 01:00:23,551
...SLOT...

882
01:00:23,551 --> 01:00:25,974
she tilted her head.

883
01:00:25,974 --> 01:00:31,913
Tightened the corner of her mouth
in a way that hinted at a worldly cunning.

884
01:00:31,913 --> 01:00:36,407
A human touch she'd never permitted 
herself, while on duty at the store.

885
01:00:37,997 --> 01:00:40,934
You ask an elm tree for pears.

886
01:00:42,324 --> 01:00:46,653
Always careful to inquire about
the Chubby Hubby,

887
01:00:46,653 --> 01:00:51,200
you were shocked, one morning,
to hear he moved back

888
01:00:51,200 --> 01:00:56,547
to his parents' Las Vegas home,
after she served him with divorce papers.

889
01:00:57,257 --> 01:01:03,801
Had we not been alone,
you doubt her Titanic ventilatin'

890
01:01:03,801 --> 01:01:07,090
would've been any the less ferocious.

891
01:01:07,090 --> 01:01:10,121
Among the highlights? Ooh.

892
01:01:10,121 --> 01:01:13,801
"I sneaked pulverized sleeping pills
into his food,

893
01:01:13,801 --> 01:01:17,386
and he'd still force himself
on me at night."

894
01:01:17,386 --> 01:01:22,361
"He confessed to Photoshopping
my head on porno women,

895
01:01:22,361 --> 01:01:25,052
and sending them out to his friends."

896
01:01:25,052 --> 01:01:28,665
"He said I had cottage cheese thighs."

897
01:01:28,665 --> 01:01:32,524
"He wanted to watch me
make love to another man."

898
01:01:32,524 --> 01:01:37,215
Hm! I confess,
my eyebrows arched.

899
01:01:38,655 --> 01:01:41,832
"He admitted to mailing himself,
anonymously,

900
01:01:41,832 --> 01:01:45,113
articles about adultery
from women's magazines."

901
01:01:45,113 --> 01:01:48,952
"I admit, I'd been hoping he'd commit
some heinous deed so I could

902
01:01:48,952 --> 01:01:53,399
divorce him, but this drunken dumpling
made me wanna kill him!"

903
01:01:54,269 --> 01:01:58,040
He finished with:
"Every day, I contemplate suicide.

904
01:01:58,040 --> 01:02:01,758
If you knew why,
you'd want me dead too."

905
01:02:02,208 --> 01:02:07,360
He finished with the most insightful
thing anyone's ever said to me.

906
01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:13,074
"You want God in your life, but you 
don't wanna admit your sister's right."

907
01:02:13,074 --> 01:02:18,425
Through it all, with the exception of the
voyeurism-cum-cuckold confession,

908
01:02:18,425 --> 01:02:22,681
you maintained your disinterested 
demeanor.

909
01:02:22,681 --> 01:02:27,177
We are told women do not seek advice,
only an open set of ears.

910
01:02:27,177 --> 01:02:34,473
But information is power, 
and you felt omnipotent.

911
01:02:34,473 --> 01:02:38,409
You shall ride an inch 
behind the tail.

912
01:02:38,409 --> 01:02:40,572
Divorce affects women
in different ways.

913
01:02:40,572 --> 01:02:44,458
Over the ensuing weeks, as she
settled into a rented house

914
01:02:44,458 --> 01:02:49,439
with girlfriends, you saw her
grow more...interested?

915
01:02:49,439 --> 01:02:53,257
Her hair, once pulled into a
scalp-stretching bun,

916
01:02:53,257 --> 01:02:59,065
fell free and frizzy. Granny glasses
replaced with contact lenses.

917
01:02:59,065 --> 01:03:05,801
The, uh, matrimonial buttocks shrank.
But she remained a tad heavy in the thigh.

918
01:03:05,801 --> 01:03:10,217
You imagined her entering a lesbian phase.

919
01:03:10,217 --> 01:03:15,914
What better way to repudiate 
the demeanin' world of testosterone?

920
01:03:15,914 --> 01:03:20,313
Than to anchor a while in the safe,
Sapphic harbor?

921
01:03:20,313 --> 01:03:26,617
But, with her pillow talk,
comparin' male outrages,

922
01:03:26,617 --> 01:03:29,833
an investigator turns outward again.

923
01:03:29,833 --> 01:03:33,955
Seeking a man.
This man.

924
01:03:33,955 --> 01:03:40,856
The day she sold you the hard to find
"David Bowie BBC Theater London,

925
01:03:40,856 --> 01:03:43,864
June 17th 2000," oh-ho!

926
01:03:43,864 --> 01:03:49,193
And, you noted the contact lenses
and the come-hither eyeliner.

927
01:03:49,193 --> 01:03:52,762
Was the day you slapped a
Global Positioning Device

928
01:03:52,762 --> 01:03:56,217
in her Toyota's chassis.

929
01:03:56,217 --> 01:04:03,006
Your confessed rapists shivered
as you violated her car's backside.

930
01:04:03,006 --> 01:04:08,622
My Bastilion has been struck
by lightning.

931
01:04:08,622 --> 01:04:14,392
One Sunday mornin', you detect
her Toyota headin' east

932
01:04:14,392 --> 01:04:17,049
on Carmel Valley Road.

933
01:04:17,049 --> 01:04:20,680
Though Sundays are usually reserved
for leadin' your grandson's

934
01:04:20,680 --> 01:04:23,865
Sunday School class, ya beg off,

935
01:04:23,865 --> 01:04:28,329
and end up in a trailhead
above the Arroyo Seco River.

936
01:04:28,329 --> 01:04:33,354
Ya park your blue Jeep
alongside the Ferrari-red sedan,

937
01:04:33,354 --> 01:04:39,337
grab your military-style binoculars,
and like Daniel Day-Lewis' Hawkeye,

938
01:04:39,337 --> 01:04:46,617
ya follow a gaggle of Nike footprints
into the Vantana wilderness.

939
01:04:46,617 --> 01:04:51,881
Your prints are fresh in the settled dust,
and appear to belong to 4 females.

940
01:04:51,881 --> 01:04:57,368
You press onward, pausin' when 
two birdwatchers, sightin'

941
01:04:57,368 --> 01:05:02,282
your binoculars danglin' by their cord
around your neck, arrest our progress

942
01:05:02,282 --> 01:05:06,872
bleatin' about a red-winged blackbird
they saw around the next bend.

943
01:05:06,872 --> 01:05:13,272
You up the ante, with a bogus report
of a ginormous condor

944
01:05:13,272 --> 01:05:16,153
perched in a skeletal tree.

945
01:05:16,153 --> 01:05:22,536
They hurry on, and you advance
toward your destiny.

946
01:05:22,536 --> 01:05:26,858
Hearin' rushin' water in the distance,
you attune your hearin'

947
01:05:26,858 --> 01:05:35,496
to the frequency used by giddy girls,
as they frolic in emerald pools.

948
01:05:35,496 --> 01:05:41,544
Ya leave the trail, and clamber upward,
through the still, dewy chaparral.

949
01:05:41,544 --> 01:05:48,888
The sweet ambiance of a bay laurel grove
camouflages ya, as you emerge

950
01:05:48,888 --> 01:05:51,096
over the north-facin' ridge.

951
01:05:51,096 --> 01:05:55,517
There! There...they...are!

952
01:05:55,517 --> 01:05:58,382
Four sirens.

953
01:05:58,382 --> 01:06:02,056
Divin' and twistin' like
otters in Eden.

954
01:06:02,056 --> 01:06:05,464
River maidens
out of Wagner.

955
01:06:05,464 --> 01:06:08,648
One of 'em, 
not your long-sought goddess,

956
01:06:08,648 --> 01:06:11,192
brazenly topless.

957
01:06:11,192 --> 01:06:15,912
She's darin' the others
beyond the au naturel frontier.

958
01:06:15,912 --> 01:06:22,278
First, one. Then, another.
Then...another.

959
01:06:22,278 --> 01:06:26,216
Bare their 30-somethin' breasts.

960
01:06:26,216 --> 01:06:30,190
With you seekin' the lone holdout.

961
01:06:30,190 --> 01:06:35,464
You withdraw the befogged lenses
from your perspirin' face,

962
01:06:35,464 --> 01:06:42,811
and whisper a prayer
to the Lord of the Underworld.

963
01:06:42,811 --> 01:06:47,373
Prayer answered.

964
01:06:47,373 --> 01:06:49,455
She relents.

965
01:06:49,455 --> 01:06:55,064
You visually caress
the ivory, pink-tipped white buds.

966
01:06:55,064 --> 01:06:58,510
And decide --
Is it really a decision,

967
01:06:58,510 --> 01:07:02,312
or some genetically-determined urge?

968
01:07:02,312 --> 01:07:07,833
Well, at any rate, you crawl on your belly
from boulder to boulder,

969
01:07:07,833 --> 01:07:11,945
glancin' water-ward when you can.

970
01:07:11,945 --> 01:07:18,907
Now, the naughty group leader
has shed her bikini bottom.

971
01:07:18,907 --> 01:07:25,372
Up ahead, you spy a perfect perch,
not 50 yards ahead as the condor flies,

972
01:07:25,372 --> 01:07:27,224
above the pool.

973
01:07:27,224 --> 01:07:30,174
Slitherin' through the [?],
you reach over, down a branch,

974
01:07:30,174 --> 01:07:36,472
and feel a sting in your wrist,

975
01:07:36,472 --> 01:07:43,592
just as the tell-tale rattle
spits its warning.

976
01:07:43,592 --> 01:07:50,456
Your right arm goes numb, as mad venom
speeds toward your dark heart.

977
01:07:50,456 --> 01:07:54,200
You wanna cry out to the now
nude quartet, but

978
01:07:54,200 --> 01:07:59,032
the split-second of shame
earns your silence.

979
01:07:59,032 --> 01:08:03,026
The sky spins.
As it goes black,

980
01:08:03,026 --> 01:08:11,352
you feel the earth split open,
as you tumble downward.

981
01:08:11,352 --> 01:08:14,680
Enjoy your stay.

982
01:08:14,680 --> 01:08:23,288
We've, uh, supplied a never-ending
soundtrack.

983
01:08:23,288 --> 01:08:29,831
[Pensive piano.]

984
01:08:29,831 --> 01:08:37,213
[Sings] Let me look at you,
before the lines appear.

985
01:08:37,213 --> 01:08:44,648
Let me look at you,
in the slanting light.

986
01:08:44,648 --> 01:08:53,592
Let me look at you,
as day slides into night.

987
01:08:53,592 --> 01:08:57,976
Into night.

988
01:08:57,976 --> 01:09:02,984
I just want to look at you.
Oh, please.

989
01:09:02,984 --> 01:09:09,463
Let me look at you.
See what my eyes discover

990
01:09:09,463 --> 01:09:13,751
'til you go back to your lover.

991
01:09:13,751 --> 01:09:17,832
[Violins]

992
01:09:17,832 --> 01:09:22,250
Let me look at you.

993
01:09:22,250 --> 01:09:29,361
Let me look at you
while the hours disappear.

994
01:09:29,361 --> 01:09:36,504
Let me look at you
in another man's home.

995
01:09:36,504 --> 01:09:43,448
Let me look at you
until it's time to go.

996
01:09:43,448 --> 01:09:48,904
Until it's time to go.

997
01:09:48,904 --> 01:09:54,711
I just want to look at you.
Oh, please.

998
01:09:54,711 --> 01:10:01,800
Let me look at you.
See what my eyes discover

999
01:10:01,800 --> 01:10:14,510
'til you go back to your lover.
Let me look at you.

1000
01:10:14,510 --> 01:10:22,295
Though I know you do not want me
any more,

1001
01:10:22,295 --> 01:10:28,840
when I look at you, my spirit soars.

1002
01:10:28,840 --> 01:10:35,576
Let me look at you,
and thrill me to the core.

1003
01:10:35,576 --> 01:10:43,575
Let me look at you,
and see your heart stop.

1004
01:10:43,575 --> 01:10:50,056
Let me look at you
until I get enough.

1005
01:10:50,056 --> 01:10:56,360
Until I get enough.

1006
01:10:56,360 --> 01:11:04,903
I will worship your beautiful
suntanned feet

1007
01:11:04,903 --> 01:11:12,167
cradled by your summer leather sandals.

1008
01:11:12,167 --> 01:11:18,807
Let me look into your alien almond eyes.

1009
01:11:18,807 --> 01:11:25,751
Let me look at you by this glowing candle.

1010
01:11:25,751 --> 01:11:33,736
Let me look at you like a seagoing vandal.

1011
01:11:33,736 --> 01:11:39,352
To hell with scandal.

1012
01:11:39,352 --> 01:11:46,552
I just want to look at you.
Oh please, let me look at you.

1013
01:11:46,552 --> 01:11:58,510
See what my eyes discover,
'til you go back to your lover.

1014
01:11:58,510 --> 01:12:09,207
Let me look at you.
Let me look at you.

1015
01:12:09,207 --> 01:12:14,888
Oh-ohhh-ohhhhh.

1016
01:12:14,888 --> 01:12:30,839
[Sad violin]

1017
01:12:30,839 --> 01:12:35,383
[Applause]

1018
01:12:35,383 --> 01:12:38,074
Thanks for coming.
Let's meet our cast.

1019
01:12:38,074 --> 01:12:55,352
[Applause]

1020
01:12:55,352 --> 01:13:00,343
And all the way from Greenfield
California, Christopher Lopez.

1021
01:13:00,343 --> 01:13:12,760
[Applause]

1022
01:13:12,760 --> 01:13:21,831
[Audience chatter]

1023
01:13:21,831 --> 01:13:26,647
Fabulous cast. Wow.

1024
01:13:26,647 --> 01:16:58,422
[Acoustic guitar]
[First song from evening]

1025
01:16:58,422 --> 01:17:01,175
Does anyone here watch
"Game of Thrones?"

1026
01:17:01,175 --> 01:17:03,190
You do?
OK.

1027
01:17:03,190 --> 01:17:09,347
I wish you guys could just 
donate that to that sculpture garden.

1028
01:17:09,347 --> 01:17:11,881
You watch "Game of Thrones?"
- Uh, some of it.

1029
01:17:11,881 --> 01:17:16,311
I was gonna make a speech.
- OK.

1030
01:17:16,311 --> 01:17:19,752
Hold on. I'll wait until he has the axe.

1031
01:17:19,752 --> 01:17:22,534
In the name of King Aeres of 
the House Targaryen,

1032
01:17:22,534 --> 01:17:26,547
second of his name, Lord of the
Seven Kingdoms and Protector

1033
01:17:26,547 --> 01:17:32,567
of the Realm,
we sentence this rock to die.

1034
01:17:32,567 --> 01:17:34,423
Watch out if this comes flying off.

1035
01:17:34,423 --> 01:17:39,286
Yahhhhh!
[Papier mache crunching]

1036
01:17:39,286 --> 01:17:41,831
I'll do the first two.

1037
01:17:41,831 --> 01:17:45,254
Yahhhhh!

1038
01:17:45,254 --> 01:17:48,359
Who wants it next?
Excalibur!

1039
01:17:48,359 --> 01:17:50,199
Liberating the spirit within.

1040
01:17:50,199 --> 01:17:55,959
Ohhhh.

1041
01:17:55,959 --> 01:18:00,614
[Laughter]

1042
01:18:00,614 --> 01:18:04,135
The boulder wins!

1043
01:18:04,135 --> 01:18:07,975
Cody Moore built a magnificent
piece of art.

1044
01:18:07,975 --> 01:18:10,135
Sir Jason of Roderiana.

1045
01:18:10,135 --> 01:18:14,310
[Thumping]

1046
01:18:14,310 --> 01:18:17,913
We know how to make rocks.

1047
01:18:17,913 --> 01:18:20,407
There's a body inside!

1048
01:18:20,407 --> 01:18:22,326
The Post Weekly, he used.

1049
01:18:22,326 --> 01:18:24,247
Haha!

1050
01:18:24,247 --> 01:18:28,470
[Thumping]
- There you go.

1051
01:18:28,470 --> 01:18:30,134
You carry this around with you,
all the time?

1052
01:18:30,134 --> 01:18:32,016
ALL the time.

1053
01:18:32,016 --> 01:18:38,167
This stuff will fix
so many things.

1054
01:18:38,167 --> 01:18:43,350
It's easy to carry.
Doesn't spoil.

1055
01:18:43,350 --> 01:18:50,087
[Axe thudding]

1056
01:18:50,087 --> 01:18:53,831
Hey. We need a cleanup hitter
on my baseball team.

1057
01:18:53,831 --> 01:18:56,998
- There ya go.
- Ooh.

1058
01:18:56,998 --> 01:19:24,698
[Axe thumping]

1059
01:19:24,698 --> 01:19:26,071
Anybody else want in?

1060
01:19:26,071 --> 01:19:29,574
[Laughter]

1061
01:19:29,574 --> 01:19:30,822
- I can't do that much damage.

1062
01:19:30,822 --> 01:19:32,374
- Reinaldo?

1063
01:19:32,374 --> 01:19:34,006
- Run, run, Jason.

1064
01:19:34,006 --> 01:19:36,870
- Your show.
You get the last word.

1065
01:19:36,870 --> 01:19:38,998
This is to all the critics.

1066
01:19:38,998 --> 01:19:45,865
[Laughter]
[Thumping]