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So when I was eight years old,

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a new girl came to join the class.

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She was so impressive,

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as the new girl always seems to be.

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She had vast quantities of very shiny hair

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and a cute little pencil case,

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super-strong on state capitals,

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just a great speller,

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and I just curdled with jealousy that year,

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until I hatched my devious plan.

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So one day I stayed a little late after school,

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a little too late, and I lurked in the girl's bathroom.

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When the coast was clear, I emerged,

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crept into the classroom,

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and took from my teacher's desk the grade book.

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And then I did it.

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I fiddled with my rival's grades,

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just a little, just demoted some of those A's.