[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.00,0:00:05.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hi, my name is Joe\Nand I can't grow a beard.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.72,0:00:08.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hi Joe. Thanks for joining us today.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.63,0:00:10.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know it's tough these days\Nshowing your face in public
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.20,0:00:11.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,without any hair on it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.96,0:00:12.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are very brave.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.06,0:00:13.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who wants to go first?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.08,0:00:16.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All my friends can grow beards\Nand they make fun of me relentlessly.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.07,0:00:18.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they'll ask me \N'hey, did ya, did ya just shave?'.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.24,0:00:21.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'No, I didn't! I haven't shaved in a week!'
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.15,0:00:23.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is what I got.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.84,0:00:28.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you think that's bad? I've been growing this thing out for over a year. I look 13.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.07,0:00:34.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yesterday, I caught my girlfriend reading an article called "The 31 Hottest Bearded Men Of All Time".
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.63,0:00:35.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Awwwwwwwww, that hurts.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.10,0:00:37.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How about those articles that are like
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.66,0:00:39.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"check out this ugly guy
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.44,0:00:41.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who suddenly got really hot when he grew a beard!"
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.48,0:00:42.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Did you guys see that '50 Shades of Gray'
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.26,0:00:44.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,trailer? Everybody's complaining because
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.57,0:00:45.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the main guy had to shave for the role
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.00,0:00:47.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And all of a sudden he's not attractive??
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.51,0:00:48.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What the F***!!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.50,0:00:49.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know but he's so hot...
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.64,0:00:51.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's SO HOT. He's a male model actor
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.84,0:00:53.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One fell swoop with a razor
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.76,0:00:55.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,isn't gonna change the fact that he's hot!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.47,0:00:57.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is hairless discrimination is what it is!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.98,0:01:00.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, last Movember... 'Wooooahh, woooah!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.71,0:01:03.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No no no, it's NOVEMBER, November. This is a safe place
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.41,0:01:05.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't acclimate to impossible male beauty standards.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.06,0:01:09.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I love that! Yes! Last November people were asking me,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.60,0:01:13.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, when you gonna grow it out, you gonna grow it--
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.72,0:01:14.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know how mad that made me feel?!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.22,0:01:17.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like less of a man, right? \N-Yes!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.41,0:01:19.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,-"Hard, but you just have to donate to charity
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.81,0:01:21.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,without taking photos of your sweet moustache.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.25,0:01:24.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't need to hide behind follicular lies!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.25,0:01:27.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At least we're honest about our jawlines!\N-Yeah!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.42,0:01:32.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean look, trends are cyclical, right? A cycle! I--
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.48,0:01:35.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When, w- clean-shaven becomes a minority, w-
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.33,0:01:37.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They'll psychologically be attracted to YOU, and ME,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.49,0:01:39.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and all of us again!\N-Yeah! Yeah!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.31,0:01:41.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,YEAH! AND I WILL BE SMOOTH AND PROUD!\N-SMOOTH AND PROUD!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.69,0:01:42.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Repeat after me! "I am a man!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.16,0:01:47.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I cannot grow a beard!"\N"It does not make me less of a man!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.81,0:01:54.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"It makes me a man without a beard!"\N"Beauty isn't in the beard!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.20,0:02:00.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"It's the face behind it!"\N"I... no..."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.45,0:02:06.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"It's okay. We are your beard."