Hi, my name is Joe and I can't grow a beard.
Hi Joe. Thanks for joining us today.
I know it's tough these days showing your face in public
without any hair on it.
You are very brave.
Who wants to go first?
All my friends can grow beards and they make fun of me relentlessly.
And they'll ask me 'hey, did ya, did ya just shave?'.
'No, I didn't! I haven't shaved in a week!'
This is what I got.
Do you think that's bad? I've been growing this thing out for over a year. I look 13.
Yesterday, I caught my girlfriend reading an article called "The 31 Hottest Bearded Men Of All Time".
Awwwwwwwww, that hurts.
How about those articles that are like
"check out this ugly guy
who suddenly got really hot when he grew a beard!"
Did you guys see that '50 Shades of Gray'
trailer? Everybody's complaining because
the main guy had to shave for the role
And all of a sudden he's not attractive??
What the F***!!
I know but he's so hot...
He's SO HOT. He's a male model actor
One fell swoop with a razor
isn't gonna change the fact that he's hot!
It is hairless discrimination is what it is!
So, last Movember... 'Wooooahh, woooah!"
No no no, it's NOVEMBER, November. This is a safe place
We don't acclimate to impossible male beauty standards.
I love that! Yes! Last November people were asking me,
"Oh, when you gonna grow it out, you gonna grow it--
You know how mad that made me feel?!
Like less of a man, right? -Yes!
-"Hard, but you just have to donate to charity
without taking photos of your sweet moustache.
We don't need to hide behind follicular lies!
At least we're honest about our jawlines! -Yeah!
I mean look, trends are cyclical, right? A cycle! I--
When, w- clean-shaven becomes a minority, w-
They'll psychologically be attracted to YOU, and ME,
and all of us again! -Yeah! Yeah!
YEAH! AND I WILL BE SMOOTH AND PROUD! -SMOOTH AND PROUD!
Repeat after me! "I am a man!"
"I cannot grow a beard!" "It does not make me less of a man!"
"It makes me a man without a beard!" "Beauty isn't in the beard!"
"It's the face behind it!" "I... no..."
"It's okay. We are your beard."