The Impact of Generosity | Wendy Steele | TEDxBocaRaton

OK, so we've all heard we are 'supposed to' give back. But what does that mean? Why should I care? What's in it for me? Sharing the story of the phenomenal success of the Impact 100 giving circles she created, philanthropist, Wendy Steele, paints the picture of contagious generosity and why we should all get involved. With this insightful talk, Wendy inspires and challenges us to pursue the Win-Win-Win of giving back.

My mother died when I was a little girl
and as a result,

my dad and my maternal grandparents
had to step in

and assume a much bigger role
than any of them ever expected.

They did this wholeheartedly
and my sisters and I benefited greatly

from their love and their extra attention.

Of course,
I lived with my father full time.

My grandparents had a winter place
in sunny Florida.

And they created what they affectionately
called "The Honored Guest Program"

where they invited their grandchildren
one at a time for undivided attention.

In these visits,

they literally and figuratively
rolled out the red carpet for our visits.

When I arrived,
I got to eat all of my favorite foods.

I got to do all of my favorite things.

And I got to spend some wonderful time
with this couple whom I adored.

Our days were spent walking the beach.

When we walked the beach,
my grandfather, who was an avid fisherman,

would connect the dots for me
between what the seagulls were doing,

and the pelicans,
how they were behaving,

what the wave action looked like
and the wind and the temperature.

All these things were going to help him
have a better afternoon of fishing.

My grandmother was a discerning sheller.

She taught me all the names
of the shells on the beach.

She told me what not to touch
because it was still living

and what to pick up.

These days, I learned about life.

And I forged a relationship
with my grandparents

that I treasured the rest of my days.

In the evenings,
Grampy would go to bed early

and Grammy and I would go off
into another room

where she would pull out a jigsaw puzzle.

The two of us would spend hours
trying to put it together

while we chatted comfortably.

Grammy had a very specific rule,
however, with jigsaw puzzles.

And that was, we were never allowed
to look at the box.

We couldn't keep the box on the table
to see what the image would look like,

but rather, we had to pick up each piece
and decide where it best fit

based on the colors
and the shapes we saw before us.

These visits as an Honored Guest
left me with so much.

Considerably more
than I could ever describe to you here.

But part of what it taught me,
I realized much later, was how to think.

So if we fast forward the clock,
now it's the summer of 2001.

I was living in Cincinnati,

and on vacation with my children
in Northern Michigan.

I'm a firm believer
that as busy as we are,

as much as we value work
and a good work ethic

which I can be accused of being
slightly over zealous in that area.

Taking vacations are so fruitful.

Most of my very best ideas have come

when I have taken a break
and stepped away.

In this case, I was on vacation
with my children

and a number of seemingly
disconnected issues

were running through my head.

Things like, I worked on some non-profit
boards and I understood how they operated.

And they had the same,
constant, nagging problem.

And that was,
they weren't getting significant grants.

They would get small grants and
they were very grateful for that,

but it never allowed them

to strategically get their head
off their desk

and look to the horizon
and really execute.

At the same time, I had a number
of wonderful, talented women friends

who were in no way involved
in their community.

Their reasons were varied,

but their reasons were very real.
They traveled for their work.

They were a stay at home mom.
They didn't think they had enough to give.

Enough time, enough money,
enough energy, enough expertise.

And in my heart of hearts,
I knew that they were wrong.

So, what I wanted to do, is to find a way
to get these women involved.

Because I knew
that if they did become involved,

they would get as much as they gave.

And I knew that the non-profit community

and the community at large
needed those skills.

They needed what those women
could bring to the table.

And as I spent that summer thinking,

the image that started to appear

was the structure of Impact 100.

Impact 100 became that image when

all the pieces of the puzzle
fit together just right.

In 2001, with the help of some
very talented women in Cincinnati, Ohio,

Impact 100 was launched.

The idea was very simple:

Gather at least 100 women
who would donate $1,000,

pool that money
and make a significant grant.

The minimum grant size
for Impact 100 is $100,000.

Make it in any one of five focus areas:

Education, environment, culture,
health and wellness or family.

The idea being that there wouldn't be
a non-profit in the community

that wouldn't qualify.

And it worked. It worked!
It was very simple and it grew.

The reason it did, I believe,

is something
that I learned a little bit later.

And that is,

when we give back, we get so much

while simultaneously making
the community a better place to live.

And that sort of feeds on itself.

As the community is made
a better place to live,

more people give back,
and the community gets better.

It's sort of like
this vortex of generosity.

And as it grows,
the world continues to get better.

And I was reminded of the shells

that I would pick up on the beach
with my grandmother,

that spiral shape is exactly
what happens in communities.

Here's something else I learned.

It turns out,

that we are biologically wired to give,

which I think is awesome.

What happens when we give back,
is our body produces oxytocin.

Oxytocin, you might ring a bell because
it is sometimes known

as the "trust" or "love" hormone.

Right after you deliver a baby,
you get a lot of oxytocin

and that is part of that bonding
that occurs.

So the thing about generosity is:
if you do something,

whether it is time, talent, or treasure,
your body gets a little shot of oxytocin,

and that's pretty cool.

The recipient of your generosity,

they get a little shot of oxytocin
and they feel good.

Even someone who witnesses
what you've done, they get a little shot.

Well, here's something else:

our body needs and wants you
to produce oxytocin.

It goes all the way back
to the survival of our early species.

Because part of what oxytocin does

is it will suppress
the stress hormone of cortisol.

So when you are overly stressed, you are
typically less generous. Makes sense?

You also have less feeling of bonding.

The more you give, the more oxytocin,

the more your body triggers
you to do more,

and in doing more, the cycle continues.

Even more interesting,

is in our families today,

the best indicator as to whether a child
will grow up to be generous,

and by generous, or philanthropic,

I mean someone who thinks about
giving back to their community.

One of the largest indicators

is whether or not
they had a role model growing up

who modeled what it was like to give back.

More recent data suggests

that if you actually have a conversation
with that child,

it's that much more likely
that it will "stick"

and that they will grow up
to be generous adults.

So now that we know
that generosity is contagious,

and we know
that that's how children learn,

you think, "Well, why aren't we all
talking about generosity in our families?"

That is a story for another day.

But what I would suggest
is that it is time we start;

because not only do children grow up
to be more generous, in this environment,

when they talk about it with a role model,
but they get some other benefits.

Benefits that every one of us would want
for our younger generation to have.

They get more self esteem.
They feel more connected.

They are more confident.

Less likely to suffer from depression
or have suicidal thoughts.

Those are significant.

For the senior citizens in your life,
retirees who give back,

report that they are more connected,
their life has more meaning.

They even have better health
and statistically live longer

than their counter parts
who don't give back.

You take this example into the workplace,

and the results
are not just "warm and fuzzy"

of everybody loves each other
because we are all giving back together.

It's not expensive to create a program of
generosity within your company,

within your church, within your school,
within your community.

But the results are staggering.

People who are generous,

also statistically are more creative,
better at problem solving.

They have higher degrees of empathy
and they behave in a more ethical manner.

All those things effect the bottom line
in a meaningful way

and make the community
a better place to live.

So what I would like to suggest

is that the generosity epidemic
starts here and starts now.

It starts in your families,
in your communities,

in your businesses and your schools.

I hope you will join me,

because the impact of generosity is huge.

(Applause)