Should I Give Up the Scale? How Do I Give a Diagnosis?Tumblr Tuesday!! Q&A! with Kati Morton

In todays vlog I answer questions from my Tumblr site!! The questions are:

1) What's the difference between a set back and a relapse? And how do we get through a relapse?
2) Giving up the scale?? Giving it to a friend? Thoughts on that.
3) Process of giving a diagnosis?
4) What do you do if someone threatens to kill themselves if you tell their parents?
5) How to deal with anxiety around going to therapy?
6) How to get over fear of abandonment, BPD related?

Oh and my website is new and working!! So hop on and add your thoughts to one of our forums or blog like you used to!! I hope you like it! xoxo

Tumblr Tuesday!! Q&A! with Kati Morton Mental Health videos via YouTube Capture
My new site is: http://www.katimorton.com/

Kati Morton, MFTI
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/katimorton

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Eating Disorders Explained:
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Dietitian series:
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Hey everyone! Happy Tuesday!

Now today, is Tumblr Tuesday!

I feel like I should tumble when I say that.

Like I'm in a gymnastics class or something.

Okay, so, before I get into Tumblr land

I wanted to let you all know - drumroll -

that the website is up! The new website! Yay!

And I know that

many of you have been asking for this,

and hoping for this. Thank you so much

for being patient. The last website -

it's funny because I remember searching through

all the website types, and thinking, that will be perfect!

Because we can share love, and give people

little extra hearts on their blog posts,

but then it just got really difficult because

how do we ask simple questions?

And what if one of us just has a little question?

And then, how quickly can we get back to one another?

And then [mumbles] , right?

And it was a lot for me to read through

and make sure there was nothing triggering,

and to approve all those blog posts,

and set pictures to them, and yada yada yada, right?

So the new website is up, and there are forums.

And it's actually

- I'm looking at my computer over here -

it's actually a social network site now,

where you can friend people, and follow people,

and you can update your profile and answer

these funny questions I've put in, like

what are your favorite hobbies? And things like that.

Favorite colors? I don't even know what I put in there.

Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry? What favorite flavor?

So yeah, you kind of create your own profile!

And it will tell you like how much of that is done,

and it's really exciting! So,

if you haven't hopped on my website -

KatiMorton.com - you can check it out.

And I have opened up the forums.

I am not looking through all of it

and approving the forums, because

I want you to have the support 24/7.

And I am not awake 24/7, 'cause then I'd be like a zombie.

So, I've opened it up. However, the same rules

still apply. And I will check the forums very frequently

But if you find any triggering information,

let somebody know. Just say

"Hey, we don't use numbers on here", or

"Hey, you know we don't talk like that on this website"

blah, blah, blah, or if you want to leave it up to me,

you can let me know. And I will be happy

to message them and let them know

the rules of the website, because I want to keep it

a safe and supportive environment like it's been

and no way will this ever become a pro-

unhealthy behavior website, okay?

So even thought I've opened it up,

the same rules apply. So don't, you know,

don't break the rules, okay? And, let me see

if there is anything else. So yeah,

I think that's really it. Give me your feedback,

let me know if somethings not quite working,

or if you like the way that this is,

or, you know I'm always looking for feedback

because I'm just getting into this website

in the back end, and trying different things out.

So, I'm always welcoming the feedback. Okay?

And, on to Tumblr-land.

Oh, and I got my nails painted today, you see?

I was real excited - I was like - I love purple. Yay!

So, okay - and before I forget actually -

on the website, you can still blog. I know many of you

have been like, "Katie, where'd the blog option go?"

And in the forums, you'll find my explaination

for how you can still blog.

So if you still want to do that, there's a forum about it

so you can read. And if you have any

questions about it, or sturuggles, you can

hit me up on Twitter, okay?

Now the questions, the first question is,

"What's the difference between a setback,

and a relapse?".

Now, I'm assuming this would differ

from person to person, because it's really just

a definition thing. But a setback would be like

"Ugh, it was my birthday, and I had two parties to go

to. So I felt like I binged, and then I purged...

so I'm feeling really guilty".

But then we get back up the next day,

and we get back on track.

That would be like a setback or a slip-up, or

how ever many kinds of words we could use

to describe that, right?

And then a relapse would be,

when we go back to the way it used to be.

Like, which we all have felt this -

if you look up the definition - I think it says something

like back-sliding, or getting back -

they talk about it medically, so when the symptoms

come back full-force, and I think that applies for

eating disorders, self-harm, depression, anxiety,

if we go back to the way it was, before we got help.

So, if we are binging and pruging X-amount of times a day again,

or we are exercising X-amount, or we're

sitting in bed all day, and not getting out.

Or, we're finding ourselves overly anxious in public,

so we're not meeting up with our friends... etc.

Does that make sense? So it's kind of all going back.

And then, then the next part - so that was one

persons question on Tumblr.

And the next question was

"how do we get through a relapse?"

So that was another one, but I decided to

mush it together. And, just like what I said

a relapse is going back to the way it use to be.

We have to go back to when we first started

to recover, and use those same tools.

Because all the work we have done - [apologizes] -

all the work we have done, is a loss.

It's not lost - it's still there - we just have to

get back on track, use our tools,

maybe start on my workbook again

task one - which I know you all hate - but,

get back on there, okay? And start doing that again

because the same things that helped us before

can help us now. And I know it's annoying,

and we're like, "I've already done it". It's like

kindergarten or something, and we're like,

"We've already learned this", but we have to

go back, okay?

Question number two. This person

- I'm not going to share anybody's name 'cause

on Tumblr it's usually anonymous,

or they really want to to keep their privacy,

but this persons therapist was wanting them

to give up their scale, and to give it to a friend.

They are feeling really anxious about it obviously,

because a lot of us folks on the numbers and weight,

and all this calorie in and out, and -

Right? Our eating disorder loves that stuff.

And, she's feeling really anxious,

so she wondered about my thoughts on that.

I think giving it to a friend is a great idea

a lot of times I'll take it from my client for a week,

and give it back. Or give them the option

to take it back. So, I think that it's a great idea.

I know that it's really anxiety provoking and,

I would encourage you to journal about it a little bit

and see why you're feeling so anxious, and

what does it mean to not be weighed?

What are you afraid is going to happen?

I can pretty much guess what it is, but sometimes

it helps for us to write it out, and then to say,

"Well, what if we can get it back any time?"

Like, what it you gave it to your therapist,

and they just said "let me know if you want it back,

and I'll put it in a bag in the waiting room,

and you can come get it.", then how would it feel?

And maybe you should, before giving it to a friend,

maybe we should just try not weighing ourselves

for one day, or one afternoon. It depends on

how often you weight yourself, and we'll start

weaning off, you know?

So, those are my thoughts on that. Your therapist

is doing a great job, 'cause that's something I

always encourage, you know,

some kind of version of that, okay?

Number three, someone wanted to know the process

of getting a diagnosis. Now, this probably differs

from Therapist to Therapist, but I'll just tell you mine.

I'm going to see you the first time, and I'm going to

ask you a lot of questions - about your history,

and where you've been before, and if there is

another Therapist I should talk to, and,

I'd get you to sign a release if that's the case.

I'd ask you about medical conditions, and things

you struggled with physically that you had to go to

the hospital for. I'd ask about medications, and

the list goes on, and on, and on.

And through the course of spending time with you

and having other sessions, I'll ask you about

your behaviors, like how many times

do you feel depressed? Or how many times do you

binge and purge? Or how many times do you

cut yourself in a day, or week, or month?

And I'll just start asking questions about that.

And, I probably see my clients four times - I'm just

giving you a rough estimate - unless there's some

reason we have to make a diagnosis quicker,

I usually see them for about a month,

before I feel confident enough to give them

a diagnosis. And then, I usually will jot in my notes

what I'm ruling out. Like, to rule out major depressive

disorder, or bulimia, or binging disorder

- whatever it is I'm looking at -

borderline personality disorder. And then I'll start

weeding them out, so that it doesn't quite meet

criteria for this, it's more apt to meet that.

And so that's how I do it. So think of it

as a funnel - I'm taking all of this information

and I'm getting it down to what I think is actually

the struggle and the issue. But in the meantime,

I'm also creating a treatment plan based on

all those possibilities, so I like doing that

because it gives a more well rounded treatment plan,

so it's not just one thing that we're focusing on

- even if it is one diagnosis, we have

a lot of stuff going on, you know?

So, that's just a little snippet about how that works.

Okay, on to number four.

"What do you do, if someone threatens

to kill themselves, if you tell their parents?"

And I know that this comes from someone on Twitter,