Quarterly Week Off the Grid - Brad Feld at TEDxBoulder
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0:16 - 0:19So tonight I’m gonna tell you
about an invention of mine -
0:19 - 0:21that saved my second marriage,
-
0:21 - 0:26and also has increased the quality
of my life by at least 10x. -
0:26 - 0:30And for all of the partners
in the crowd, -
0:30 - 0:33and all of the people in the crowd
who have partners, -
0:33 - 0:37I encourage you to
embrace this invention. -
0:38 - 0:39(Laughter)
-
0:39 - 0:41We all work very hard.
-
0:41 - 0:44These are some of our TechStars friends
from this year’s graduating class -
0:44 - 0:47after three or four all-nighters.
-
0:48 - 0:49We also live hard.
-
0:49 - 0:53For those of you that are climbers, this is
one of the rocks in Eldorado Canyon. -
0:53 - 0:59And we all enjoy this kind of thing
in the beautiful Boulder that we live in. -
1:01 - 1:03We are much much too connected.
-
1:03 - 1:08I did a tweet about at 9 o’clock
from my house in Homer, Alaska, -
1:08 - 1:10a couple of weeks ago,
saying I need a picture -
1:10 - 1:13of somebody who’s got too many
electronic devices in their world. -
1:13 - 1:18And I got twenty back
within about fifteen minutes. -
1:20 - 1:22Life is really complicated.
-
1:22 - 1:27We spend all of this time dealing with all of this
crazy shit that none of us really understands, -
1:27 - 1:30or maybe we think we understand it
but we don’t really understand it. -
1:30 - 1:34And it’s moving faster
and faster all the time. -
1:35 - 1:37We already heard this once tonight
-
1:37 - 1:40when we were learning about
how to do social media better. -
1:40 - 1:43But relationships are hard.
-
1:44 - 1:47I married my high school girlfriend
when I was 21. -
1:47 - 1:50(Laughter)
-
1:50 - 1:54Now, I was legally old enough to drink,
-
1:54 - 1:58but I should not have been legally
old enough to get married. -
1:58 - 2:02On my honeymoon, three days in,
I realized that I had made a mistake. -
2:03 - 2:08About a year afterwards I was
that dude in the middle. (Laughter) -
2:08 - 2:11I should've been the dude on the left,
but I was the dude in the middle. -
2:11 - 2:13Relationships are hard.
-
2:13 - 2:16I failed once. I got divorced
a couple years later. -
2:17 - 2:22[Welcome to Fail, Population: You]
(Laughter) -
2:22 - 2:24In 2001,
-
2:24 - 2:26I almost failed again.
-
2:26 - 2:30For those of you that have been
involved in technology companies -
2:30 - 2:31in and around the internet bubble,
-
2:31 - 2:36you know what the pace of things
were like in 1999, 2000, 2001. -
2:36 - 2:40I was embroiled in
the midst of all of that, -
2:40 - 2:43and on a trip to some friends
over the weekend -
2:43 - 2:45in Rhode Island, I met Amy in Boston
-
2:45 - 2:49after I was in New York and
she flew to Boston to meet me, -
2:49 - 2:53and I rent -- had a driver drive us both
down to the Rhode Island, -
2:53 - 2:57which is all of an hour and a half,
so why I had a driver drive us, I've no idea. -
2:57 - 3:00I spent entire time in the car
on the phone. -
3:00 - 3:02We got to our friends' house at
about 4 o’clock in the afternoon. -
3:02 - 3:05I proceeded to spend the next
couple of hours on the phone -
3:05 - 3:07as she hung out with our two friends.
-
3:07 - 3:08We went out to dinner.
-
3:08 - 3:11At dinner, we were having
a nice dinner, -
3:11 - 3:14and about 30 minutes into
dinner I get a phone call, -
3:14 - 3:16and I come back to dinner
in time for dessert. -
3:16 - 3:21And at the end of that we go
back to our friends' house. -
3:21 - 3:23No, I did not get laid that night.
-
3:23 - 3:26That was not on the agenda.
(Laughter) -
3:26 - 3:29Amy turned to me as we got into bed,
and she said "I’m done." -
3:29 - 3:33And I said to her, "Yeah, men, this was
a tough week and tired. Just a lot of work." -
3:33 - 3:35And she said, "No no no. I’m done.
-
3:35 - 3:37You are not a very good roommate."
-
3:37 - 3:41And I realized that I was almost there.
-
3:41 - 3:44So, being a nerd and an engineer,
-
3:44 - 3:47I decided to apply some
engineering thinking to this. -
3:47 - 3:51And I said to Amy, "Look, I’m not done
and you are not really done." -
3:51 - 3:53She wasn't mad, but she wasn’t really done.
-
3:53 - 3:56This is, you know, 2001.
-
3:56 - 4:00I said, "Let’s just talk this weekend
and come up with something. -
4:00 - 4:02Will you do me a favor?
Just give me some rules." -
4:02 - 4:05That’s what I really need.
I just need a bunch of rules. -
4:05 - 4:08I’m gonna talk to you
about one of them, -
4:08 - 4:12which is something we do, which we call
"one week per quarter off the grid." -
4:12 - 4:16Since 2001 almost 40 times,
-
4:16 - 4:21once a quarter, Amy and I go
off the grid and totally disconnect. -
4:21 - 4:25We go to the airport on Saturday morning,
I hand her my telephone. -
4:25 - 4:27She turns it off.
-
4:27 - 4:32She often tries to drop it in between
where you board the plane. -
4:32 - 4:34She puts it in her pocket.
-
4:34 - 4:38We go, we sit down,
I get it back the following Saturday. -
4:38 - 4:42No phone. No email. No schedule.
-
4:42 - 4:48The only person on the planet who knows
how to find me is my assistant Kelly. -
4:48 - 4:51And she tries never
to find me that week. -
4:51 - 4:54During this -- Hang on one second.
-
4:54 - 4:55(Laughter)
-
4:55 - 4:58"Hey, sweetie!"
(Laughter) -
4:58 - 5:02"No I’m talking to those people at
that TED thing I was doing." (Laughter) -
5:02 - 5:08"I’ll be home in a bit. Not too long.
I love you. Yeah, OK." -
5:09 - 5:13(Whistles) (Applause)
-
5:13 - 5:17That’s the telephone version
of golden retriever eyes. -
5:17 - 5:20Once we all have faced time running
it'll be a little different. -
5:20 - 5:22These are my dogs looking at Amy
-
5:22 - 5:24while I'm taking a picture of them.
-
5:24 - 5:27For all of you out there that are men,
-
5:27 - 5:30remember this picture.
(Laughter) -
5:30 - 5:34This is what your spouse
or partner wants. -
5:34 - 5:41(Laughter) (Applause) (Cheers)
-
5:41 - 5:43I sleep a lot.
-
5:43 - 5:47I wear a thing on my head when I sleep
so I know how much I sleep. -
5:47 - 5:51I got a 137. (Laughter)
-
5:51 - 5:53It's about 12 and a half hours of sleep
-
5:53 - 5:54one day on vacation.
-
5:54 - 5:56I read a lot.
-
5:56 - 6:01If you look at my Shelfari list, you'll see that
I don’t just read serious business books. -
6:01 - 6:03I read all kinds of different things.
-
6:03 - 6:06And I encourage all of you when you
go on your week off the grid to do that. -
6:06 - 6:12I exercise.
(Laughter) -
6:12 - 6:15One can have goals, right?
(Laughter) -
6:15 - 6:17I relax a lot.
-
6:17 - 6:19We spend a lot of the time
that week together. -
6:19 - 6:20We don’t do adventure vacations.
-
6:20 - 6:23We just spend time together.
-
6:23 - 6:26And that leads to
a lot of adult entertainment. -
6:26 - 6:30[CENSORED]
(Laughter) -
6:30 - 6:36Now, I fail at this
about once every eight times. -
6:36 - 6:38And this is important.
-
6:38 - 6:42I like the notion of mastering failure.
-
6:42 - 6:46You have to embrace the fact that
we're human, and we will fail, and that’s OK. -
6:46 - 6:49And because of this algorithm,
-
6:49 - 6:53Amy and I have agreed that it's OK
for me to fail once every eight times. -
6:53 - 6:55There's no damage associated with that.
-
6:55 - 6:59And in fact, what it does is
it makes the next seven times, -
6:59 - 7:02until I'm ready to fail again,
that much better. -
7:02 - 7:07So recognize that this algorithm has
some failure in it and that’s OK. -
7:07 - 7:09But when it works,
it's priceless. -
7:09 - 7:12And I find that over
the last ten years or so, -
7:12 - 7:18the one week a quarter
that I take off and totally disconnect, -
7:18 - 7:22allows me to do all the other things
that I do, with intensity that I do, -
7:22 - 7:24the other 11 weeks a quarter.
-
7:24 - 7:27I've had numerous people
over the years tell me, -
7:27 - 7:28"Oh, I can’t do that."
-
7:28 - 7:30"That’s so hard", whatever,
and it’s just bullshit. -
7:30 - 7:32It’s totally doable.
-
7:32 - 7:35And it’ll change your life.
I encourage everybody in this room -
7:35 - 7:37to try it and see how it feels.
-
7:37 - 7:40Thanks and good night!
(Applause)
- Title:
- Quarterly Week Off the Grid - Brad Feld at TEDxBoulder
- Description:
-
Brad Feld discusses the importance of taking time off, one week in 12, with no phones, no computers, no technology for recharging our batteries, rebalancing our lives and nurturing our significant relationships.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 07:50
Ivana Korom edited English subtitles for Quarterly Week Off the Grid - Brad Feld at TEDxBoulder | ||
Ivana Korom edited English subtitles for Quarterly Week Off the Grid - Brad Feld at TEDxBoulder | ||
Ivana Korom approved English subtitles for Quarterly Week Off the Grid - Brad Feld at TEDxBoulder | ||
Ivana Korom edited English subtitles for Quarterly Week Off the Grid - Brad Feld at TEDxBoulder | ||
Ivana Korom edited English subtitles for Quarterly Week Off the Grid - Brad Feld at TEDxBoulder | ||
Ariana Bleau Lugo accepted English subtitles for Quarterly Week Off the Grid - Brad Feld at TEDxBoulder | ||
Ariana Bleau Lugo edited English subtitles for Quarterly Week Off the Grid - Brad Feld at TEDxBoulder | ||
Ariana Bleau Lugo edited English subtitles for Quarterly Week Off the Grid - Brad Feld at TEDxBoulder |